Married... with Children (TV Series)

Children of the Corns (1996)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peggy : Uh, honey, why don't you stay home and bowl me over?

  Al : Because, Peg, I prefer a place where my balls are returned properly.

• Gary : You know, I could get a trained chimp to do your job, but it'd be a waste of a perfectly good trained chimp.

  Al : Yeah, but it's such a nice vacation for him to get out of your bedroom.

  Griff : [sucking up]  By the way, I think that is one lucky chimp.

  Gary : This year, we're going to have a sales contest. First place gets the raise. Second place gets a swift kick in the ass!

  Al : Why don't you give is a real incentive? Let the winner kick you in the ass!

  Gary : Instead of kicking my butt, you should be kissing it.

  Al : Hey! What do you think I look like, your monkey?

• Griff : This contest is no contest. You're going down, Bundy.

  Al Bundy : Let's rock, fat boy.

  Griff : Your mama.

  Al Bundy : My wife!

  Griff : You win.

  Al Bundy : No I don't.

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Al, look at the slave wages they pay these poor people.

  Al Bundy : They make more than me!

• Al Bundy : What's for breakfast today, Peg? Scrambled nothin' or nothin' over easy?