Married... with Children (TV Series)

Change for a Buck (1993)

Cheech Marin: Buck the Dog

Quotes 

• Buck the Dog : Oh, like your family's any better.

• Floyd the Dog : Hey, you, Buckaroo, there's, uh, something you oughta know about this place.

  Buck the Dog : Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm not anyone's bitch, okay?

  Floyd the Dog : Nah. No, not that. Too bad, though. He is a looker. I mean, you better hope somebody comes in to get you in seven days or less.

  Buck the Dog : What happens after seven days?

  Floyd the Dog : Well, let's say you'll be drinking out of God's toilet.

  Buck the Dog : You mean, I'll... I'll be dead? Whoa, that's certainly a cage soiler. Hey, but I'm not worried. I mean, I got four people scouring the city for me right now. Like, there's Bud, you know...

  [thinks of Bud] 

  Buck the Dog : Uh, ahem. Well, if he can't even find a two-legged dog, why would I think he'd find a four-legged one?

  [moves on to Kelly] 

  Buck the Dog : Ah, but the girl. The girl... is an idiot! I wouldn't have any use for her at all if she didn't undress in front of me.

  [moves on to Peggy] 

  Buck the Dog : Ah, well, the redhead. Ah, she wouldn't know I was gone unless my picture was on the side of a bonbon box.

  [moves on to Al] 

  Buck the Dog : I guess my only hope is the big, dumb guy with the stinky feet. My pal, Al. Ha, he won't let me down. Besides, what else has he got going in his life?

  [reads a newspaper ad beneath him that says Wrestle Till You're Raw Night at Hooters] 

  Buck the Dog : But... But I don't wanna die. I mean, I got so much to live for. I... I got balls yet to catch, and cats to tree, bones to bury. Gee, come to think of it, we don't really do much, do we?

• Buck the Dog : Gee, uh, heh, I wonder what's taking the family so long. I mean, they sure act fast enough when the blonde girl gets lost. Heh. Of course, unlike her, I've never got lost IN the house.