- [Al is on the phone impersonating a rapper]
- Al Bundy: Yo! Video Channel, do you take requests? I'd like 'Rump Shaker', 'Gangster Booty', and 'Put Some More Ass on that Lass'. My age? Um, I'm 15. I need parental permission? Just a minute please.
- [whispers to Peggy]
- Al Bundy: Tell them it's okay.
- Peggy Bundy: [into the phone] It's okay. He's over 40.
- [Al takes the phone away from Peggy and hangs up]
- Al Bundy: Why did you tell them my real age?
- Peggy Bundy: They already know your real age. They wanted to know your I.Q.
- [watching Marcy making moans during her banking speech]
- Peggy Bundy: Jefferson, have you ever seen Marcy do this before?
- Jefferson D'Arcy: Not in public. Unless you count the skyway tram at Disneyland.
- Peggy Bundy: You mean she's about to have an o...
- Jefferson D'Arcy: [interupting] Big time! It must be that hypno-therapautic transfer thing that Dr. Angela told her about. I just hope that she's near the end of her speach.
- [Marcy lets off a big simulated lovemaking moan]
- Jefferson D'Arcy: I guess not.
- Dr. Angela: [voice over the radio] We're back with 'Dr. Angela's Loser Line' helping all those in need of help. Let's take our next caller. Go ahead, you're on the air.
- Al Bundy: [voice] Dr. Angela? Hi. My name is... uh... Sal Undy. And I'm having a little... uble tray with my enis pay.
- Marcy D'Arcy: But the good news is all indications suggest that the terrible economy is going to get bedroom - Butter - Better!
- [Jefferson gets a bit ashamed]
- Marcy D'Arcy: As you can see, when the Federal Reserve Board eases restrictions, interest rates fall, but when it... tightens... interest rates rise.
- [gets excited]
- Marcy D'Arcy: Oh, my God.
- Peggy Bundy: [to Al] Al. Something's wrong. I never seen Marcy act like this.
- Al Bundy: You wanna see acting, Peg? Check this out.
- Marcy D'Arcy: For years, the Fed held back. And interest rates rose, and rose and rose -
- [getting more excited]
- Marcy D'Arcy: Eight percent, ten percent, seventeen percent, UP AND UP!
- Marcy D'Arcy: We may even have to lay off some employees.
- Al Bundy: You know, Marcy, as someone who's been to your bank, I certainly hope you keep those 75 vice-presidents and lay off those pesky two tellers. You know, the ones who work a cool half-hour apiece on payday.
- Marcy D'Arcy: This is going to cost me my job. I'm ruined.
- Jefferson D'Arcy: Marcy, the bank just called.
- Marcy D'Arcy: I knew it.
- [puts a bag over her head]
- Jefferson D'Arcy: You're getting a raise. And, they're gonna loan you out to deliver bad news to other corporations... at $5000 a pop, so to speak.
- Al Bundy: It doesn't work anymore, Peg.
- Peggy Bundy: What doesn't work anymore?
- Al Bundy: It.
- Peggy Bundy: How can you tell?
- Al Bundy: I've been reading Playboy, Penthouse, Juggs, Hustler, Big 'Uns, Little 'Uns, Round 'Uns, I Between 'Uns. Nothing. Then I remembered something. It hasn't worked since I saw Marcy do that horrible thing at the bank. She killed it. You made it sick, but Marcy killed it.
- Peggy Bundy: Well, I suppose we could just say a little prayer and go on with our lives.
- Al Bundy: That's good for me, but what will you do?
- Peggy Bundy: Oh, don't worry about me. I'll just keep going... and going... and going... and going...
- Marcy D'Arcy: Here, watch this... Steel Magnolias.
- Al Bundy: What's Boris Karloff doing in a dress?
- Marcy D'Arcy: That's Shirley MacLaine, you baco-bit
- Al Bundy: I owe Boris an apology.
- Marcy D'Arcy: Here, watch this... Fried Green Tomatoes.
- Al Bundy: Hey, what's Mel Tormé doing in a dress?
- Marcy D'Arcy: That's Kathy Bates, you potted plant.
- Al Bundy: You know, Peg, that Kathy Bates has a mighty fine butt. Why does she waste her time making movies?
- Marcy D'Arcy: Then when the rates rose as high as they possibly could and the economy could take no more, suddenly, the Fed began pumping that money, faster and faster.