Married... with Children (TV Series)

Al... with Kelly (1990)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kelly Bundy : Get me some bread, Daddy.

  Al Bundy : I'm just waiting to hear something...

  [thunderclap] 

  Al Bundy : Now I can go.

• Peggy Bundy : Are you going to miss me, honey?

  Al Bundy : Well, I can't until you leave.

• Al Bundy : Who the hell is this?

  Pizza Boy : I'm Artie from Pizza by Jake. You owe me $7.50, plus a tip.

  Al Bundy : I'll give you a tip.

  [slams him into the door] 

  Al Bundy : Doors are hard.

  [throws him out] 

  Al Bundy : Keep the change.

• Kelly Bundy : Daddy, you're so funny. I love you. Do you love me?

  Al Bundy : Love, hate. Look, we're a family, what's the difference?

• Yvette : [purring]  Al.

  Al Bundy : As in Al-night long?

  Yvette : As in Al I want.

  Al Bundy : Well then, Al you shall have.

• Kelly Bundy : Have a good time at Grandma's.

  Al Bundy : Yeah, tell her we said moo.

• Al Bundy : [Al is dreaming]  Why don't you two just fight over me right here on the bed while I watch and take pictures. And the winner gets to have me first... and third, and fifth. You may begin.

  [Yvonne and Yvette wrestle on the bed] 

  Al Bundy : Girls, there's not enough hair whipping around.

  Yvonne : Al, this is really no fun unless you join us.

  Yvette : Yes, please join us.

  Al Bundy : Well okay. Here comes Daddy.

  [bell rings and Al wakes up diving into an empty bed] 

• Yvonne : [Al is dreaming]  Here's my paycheck. What did you do today?

  Al Bundy : Well, I watched TV and drank beer.

  Yvonne : You're so clever.

  Al Bundy : I do what I can.

  Yvonne : Do what you can with me.

  [takes off jacket and climbs into bed with Al] 

  Kelly Bundy : [bell rings, waking Al]  Daddy! Daddy!

• Nurse : [Al is dreaming]  Enema time.

  Al Bundy : Someone ring the bell! Oh God, I can't wake up!

• Al Bundy : [singing along with the Psycho Dad theme song]  Who's that riding in the sun?/Who's the man with the itchy gun?/Who's the man who kills for fun?/Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad/ Quick with a gun, but he loves his son/ Killed his wife 'cause she weighed a ton/ Psycho Dad

• Peggy Bundy : So are you really sick? You're not just trying to get out of going to see my mother?

  Al Bundy : Well, Peg, that hurts. You know how much I love that huge, fat woman.