Married... with Children (TV Series)

Al Goes Deep (1994)

Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : Jefferson.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Yeah?

  Al Bundy : Look over there. You see that kid?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Yeah.

  Al Bundy : That's your 15-to-one shot.

  Chad Dowling : [to Bud]  If a cow says "moo", does a moose say "cow"?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : What am I betting? That one day, he'll sell shoes?

• Al Bundy : So I'm out $17.34. So I'll just take it from the register tomorrow.

  [Jefferson enters] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Al, you're the greatest. When I told my bookie this inside information, he bet 100 grand of his own money. Even the jukebox guys are in on it. With their 500 grand, my 200, and your $17.34, we're gonna make a killing. You're gonna be a hero, Al.

  Buck : You're gonna be kibble, Al.

• Peggy Bundy : Hey, Jefferson, come here a minute. I want you to try one of my homemade bonbons.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Okay.

  Peggy Bundy : Okay.

  [Peggy puts her large bonbon in Jefferson's hand. Due to its weight, Jefferson uses both hands to pull it up] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Where is it? In this meteorite?

  [Jefferson chews on the bonbon. An hour and five minutes passes] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Mmm. Fruity. Light. I-It's the most delicious thing...

  Al Bundy : Peg's gone.

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Just because I'm a househusband doesn't mean I don't work.

  Maria : [enters the house]  Excuse me, Mr. Jefferson, I have ironed your socks. May I please have my five minutes for lunch now?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Uh, no.