- Hal: [sitting on Craig and patting his belly continuously] Say uncle!
- Craig Feldspar: No!
- Hal: Just say it! We can end this right now with a little dignity if you just say it. One simple word.
- Craig Feldspar: Duncle.
- Hal: Aha, you said duncle. Now you gotta say "uncle" in my butt.
- Hal: Look, Fats, I don't want you around my house no more.
- Craig Feldspar: Hey, you don't go to the fat thing and I won't go to the crazy thing.
- Hal: Yes, Mr. Jackson, there is a perfectly good reason why I did not come in to work today. Because, I decided that eight hours of joyless, mind-numbing crap just did not sound like much fun. Well, I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree.