- Lionel Herkabe: [sarcastically] Ah, the golden boy has returned. Release the doves!
- Malcolm: Hi, Mr. Herkabe.
- Lionel Herkabe: And you must be Reese. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I'm going to go medeival on your permanent record.
- Reese: Ask yourself this, what happened to the old dean of disipline?
- Lionel Herkabe, Hal: [notices Hal mopping] What are you doing?
- Hal: Mopping. In about five minutes, I will have my two hours and that should be enough to discharge my obligation from the volunteer program.
- Lionel Herkabe: Oh, no, it does not, because you've been expelled.
- Hal: All I know is I've been mopping! And this floor looks pretty darn clean to me!
- Lionel Herkabe: But that was UNAUTHORIZED mopping!
- Hal: It is spotless! And maybe we should just see whether the principal thinks it's a job well done.
- Lionel Herkabe: [walks over to a plant and throws a handful of dirt on the ground] It's not even clean.
- Cynthia Sanders: Malcolm, you hate everyone; to you, everyone's either a moron, or a creep, or a poser. Why do you suddenly care about their opinion of you?
- Malcolm: Because I'm shallow, okay! I want them to like me.