- Lois: Oh, my God, is that right? What time do you have?
- Cashier: 5:45?
- Lois: 5:45. That's not possible. Dropped off Malcolm, picked up Reese, dinner is in the oven. Hah?
- Cashier: What is it?
- Lois: I have the next 25 minutes free.
- Cashier: How did you manage that? Did you leave a kid somewhere?
- Lois: No. No, they are all accounted for.
- Cashier: What're you gonna do?
- Meghan: So, our school needs a kid about your age to be in our school play. It'll be a lot of fun. The play is by a guy named William Shakespeare. He was a writer way back in the olden times.
- Dabney Hooper: He was a syphilitic drunk fronting for the fourteenth Earl of Oxford!
- Lloyd: Why can't you leave the Bard alone? So he didn't have the benefit of higher education. How many PhD's have written King Lear?
- [Class starts arguing]