- Dewey: I'm toast. Mom found out I'm the one that broke the oven.
- Malcolm: Oh, man, you're goin' down.
- Dewey: I know. So if you want me to take the fall for anything it's five bucks a pop.
- Reese: I'm in. The hole in the bathroom wall.
- Malcolm: Me too. Dad's camera.
- Lois: [suddenly, Lois appears from the hallway] All right, Dewey, you're off the hook. You two...
- Dewey: [she grabs Reese and Malcolm by the ears and drags them out] You were supposed to wait 'til I got my money!
- Hal: [Malcolm and Reese learn that murders took place in their house before they moved in, and Hal finds out that Lois knew all along] You knew we were buying a 'death house' and you didn't tell me?
- Lois: I didn't tell you because I knew you'd have this reaction.
- Hal: Well, of course I'd have this reaction. I don't like murder. Maybe that's something you should know about me.
- Lois: Hal, it's always something with you. You passed on that one house because you thought the doorbell sounded gay. You can't have a perfect house.
- Hal: It would be nice to have a murderless one.
- Lois: Well, you should just drop it, because there's nothing we can do about it. Death and mold are two things you can expect to find in any house, and we are not moving.
- Hal: [astonished] There's mold?
- Dewey: It just doesn't make sense. Why would you fake being sick on Hallowe'en?
- Malcolm: I'm not faking it. I feel like crap. Must have gotten it from that Death Tour guy. I thought his clammy handshake was just part of the act.
- Reese: You've gotta keep your immune system in shape, Malcolm. Every once in a while pick some gum off the seat and chew it. Ounce of prevention, Dude.