M*A*S*H (TV Series)

The Korean Surgeon (1976)

Larry Hama: North Korean

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Quotes 

• Maj. Frank Burns : Why don't I start out with a couple of jokes? Then go into a personal autobiography of myself. I'll tell them about the boy scouts, how I rode a two-wheeler at 13, and how I worked my way through med school by selling burial plots door-to-door. I wish I had time to get a haircut. Well, they'll understand. After all, it's war. Did I mention that I taught my rabbit how to smile? Why did we stop?

  North Korean : Get out.

  Maj. Frank Burns : Why? Is something wrong with the jeep? Oh, don't tell me we're out of gas.

  North Korean : We are past the check point and we don't need you any more.

  North Korean : Besides, you are driving us crazy. We don't need a hostage that badly. Get out.

  Maj. Frank Burns : What do you mean?

  North Korean : You simpleton. We are North Koreans.

  Maj. Frank Burns : Honest Injun? Don't hurt me! I'll tell you anything you want to know.

  North Korean : Get out of the jeep.

  Maj. Frank Burns : You're not going to torture me or anything?

  North Korean : Some other time.

  North Korean : Go back to your camp. It's the best thing you could do for our side.