- The Army-Navy game back home holds everyone's attention (and bet money) until an artillery barrage forces the camp to dispose of an unexploded shell.
- Everyone at 4077 is excited over the annual grudge fest of the gridiron (and possible payday): the Army-Navy Football Game. As a small crew gathers around the radio in Henry's office to monitor bets, drinks, and yardage, the 4077 is suddenly pinned down by enemy fire. When an unexploded bomb lands in the middle of the compound, everyone protects the patients. As Henry lies wounded and dazed, the fainting goat (Frank) is briefly in command. Hawkeye and Trapper step over Frank to examine the bomb, which they hear ticking with their stethoscopes. When Henry wakes up, he is furious: the Army blames the Navy, the Navy blames the Army, and Henry is not sure they all understand that there is a bigger game than football getting ready to kick off. Hawkeye gets the serial number from the casing and no one can quite believe who sent the bomb. Can Yankee ingenuity and a few hands of poker defuse a bomb before it explodes? Are all bets off if the bomb blows up the 4077? And, if Navy won and Army lost, how did Radar end up scoring?—LA-Lawyer
- The 4077 is super-excited because the day of the Army-Navy football game has finally arrived. Radar is collecting on the betting pool from everyone even Father Mulcahy. Meanwhile, Henry has gathered several officers and nurses into his office to listen to game on the radio. Unfortunately, right at kick-off, the North Koreans spoil the party as bombs begins to drop just a few feet from the camp. The personnel begins to hunker down, putting mattresses over the windows of the O.R. and getting the wounded to safety. As Radar tries to get regimental headquarters on the phone, Henry his hit by several shell fragments that blow through the office and suffers a minor head injury. With Henry out of commission, Frank insists that hes in charge since hes second-in-command. Just then an approaching bomb is heard, but the result is a thud rather than a boom it seems that the bomb has landed in the middle of the camp but didn't explode.
Hawkeye makes it back to the office just as Radar gets Colonel Hersh (Alan Manson) of regimental headquarters on the phone. He appraises Hersh of the situation, not only of the bombing but of the unexploded shell currently taking up residence in the middle of the camp. Hersh advises Hawkeye to handle the bomb with extreme caution, listening to it with a stethoscope to see if it is still ticking and writing down any serial numbers so that the origin of the bomb can be determined and also asks him not to call him back until halftime. Hawkeye immediately assigns Frank the job of going out to check the bomb since hes the one in charge. Just then Trapper walks in and the three draw straws to see who goes outside. Frank draws the short straw and immediately faints. Trapper and Hawkeye play evens and odds to see who gets to go out Hawkeye gets the dubious honor. Wearing socks and a helmet liner, Hawkeye very gently makes his way outside and toward the bomb. As he starts listening for any ticking, a still shell-shocked Henry emerges from O.R. and begins shouting. Henry quickly comes to understand what is going on and quiets down. Hawkeye nervously reports that the bomb is ticking away loud and clear.
Henry finally comes back around and calls Colonel Hersh with the information about the bomb, but Hersh doesn't recognize the serial numbers or the identifying marks as anything hes familiar with. He suggests that Henry call The Navy. When Henry questions why the Navy would drop a bomb on them, Hersh supposes its because Army is beating Navy 14 to nothing. Meanwhile, Klinger goes to see Father Mulcahey, not in a dress but in a nicely-tailored suit designed for a man! He confesses that this is the suit he planned to wear when he got his discharge, but hes wearing it today because hes not sure if the bomb will go off and kill him. He further confesses that he only wears dresses to get out of the Army because he was brought up to respect all life, and also that if the bomb fails to kill him that he will immediately go right back to wearing dresses.
Rader gets Commander Sturner (John A. Zee) of The Office of Naval Operations on the phone and turns them over to Henry. Sturner tells Henry that the best thing to do is to bug out, but Henry tells him that's not an option. He asks if they are bombing inland and if they have a shell with the serial numbers that Hawkeye retrieved. Sturner takes down the numbers and says hell call back shortly. Several members of the 4077th begin preparing for the worst, including Frank and Margaret who share a bottle of champagne that she had been saving for New Years. Meanwhile, Henry tells Radar about a mishap from college when he was serving as team manager at the Ohio State-Illinois game. Seems the quarterback Tank Washington twisted his ankle, and Henry taped up the wrong leg, a mishap that bred a grudge that resides to this very day. Every year, Tank comes by Henrys house to shoot out the porch light despite the fact that hes a judge.
On his way over to O.R., Radar spots Nurse Hardy (Sheila Lauritsen) and fumbles as he tries to confess his true feelings for her and suggest that since the immediate future is in question that they visit the supply tent together. Shes flattered, hes confused. She takes him by the hand and leads the way across the compound. Meanwhile Hawkeye, Trapper and Ugly John are involved in a high stakes poker game high stakes if the bomb goes off and low stakes if it doesn't. Sturner finally gets back with Henry on the author of the unexploded shell. Seems it belongs to the C.I.A. who wouldn't tell anyone that they had their own bomb. Henry tells Trapper and Hawkeye that the Navy thinks that the bomb could go off in another hour, but if it stops ticking it might have two minutes Sturner might have been more positive with the fact but the C.I.A. wouldn't tell him their business.
Hawkeye and Trapper are charged with disarming the bomb, with Henry safely behind sandbags shouting instructions through a bullhorn. But he fumbles the instructions halfway through, and the bomb stops ticking. Hawkeye and Trapper hit the deck as the bomb goes off, not flinging shrapnel or fire but hundreds of pieces of white paper its a propaganda bomb. Hawkeye grabs a piece of paper and reads Give yourselves up, you cant win! - Douglas MacArthur. Later that day, after everything has settled down, the final score of the game is announced, Navy-42 Army-36. The winner of the betting pool turns out to be none other than Father Mulcahy. Hawkeye wonders how he has such good luck, to which the Father simply looks skyward. Meanwhile Radar spots a nurse hanging her laundry on the line. He tries to hit on her but suddenly discovers that she is actually Klinger.
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