M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Officer of the Day (1974)

Loretta Swit: Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan

Quotes 

• Margaret : Captain Pierce, Major Burns, acting commander, and I, his adjutant, have been informed that you and Captain McIntyre have refuse to release Colonel Flagg's prisoner.

  Hawkeye : Meanwhile, Aunt Martha, having taken a tramp in the wood, is lying in a ditch at the edge of town.

• Margaret : If I didn't hate violence, I'd kick you.

  Hawkeye : Would you? With high heels?

• Margaret : [Frank wants a war prisoner released to Colonel Flagg. A doctor must sign to release the prisoner; Frank and Margaret are goading Hawkeye and Trapper into signing the release]  Frank, *you* can sign for it! You're a doctor!

  Frank Burns : Hey, that's right! I *am* a doctor!

  Hawkeye : Your secret is safe with us, Frank.

  Trapper : His *patients* are definitely never going to find out.