M*A*S*H (TV Series)

For the Good of the Outfit (1973)

Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : Colonel Blake?

  Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Oh, Major Houlihan, Major Stoner...

  Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : Major.

  Maj. Stoner : Major.

  Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Major. Major Burns, Major Stoner...

  Maj. Frank Burns : Major.

  Maj. Stoner : Major.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Major Pierce...

  Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Major.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Well, I think we've made a major breakthrough here.

• Frank Burns : [walking into the swamp]  Pig Pen! Brothel!

  Hawkeye : Here, sir!

  Trapper : Yo!

• Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : [Frank's not involved in the complaint because he didn't sign]  Why didn't you let him sign?

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Let him? We begged him to! We begged him to do the right thing.

• [Frank thinks Hawkeye and Trapper are making lewd gestures] 

  Frank Burns : Caught you!

  Trapper : At what?

  Frank Burns : Making one of your obscene gestures behind my back!

  Hawkeye : Which one?

  Frank Burns : You know, the one that...

  [Hawkeye and Trapper start laughing] 

• [referring to Margaret and Frank, after they had inadvertently help Hawkeye and Trapper] 

  Hawkeye : Aren't they something?

  Trapper : I love 'em.

  Hawkeye : Take her; he's mine.

• Frank Burns : I don't think it's so all-fired sophisticated to walk around with a beard.

  Trapper : Oh you oughtta' try it sometime Frank. Women love it.

  Frank Burns : Oh I'll bet.

  Hawkeye : Really. Come here.

  [Frank walks over to him] 

  Hawkeye : Kiss me.

• Gen. Crandell Clayton : Stoner? Oh yes, yes. He's doing a bang-up job for COMSERVPAC, in Honolulu.

  Trapper : Uh-oh.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Put all your fragments in your COMSERVPAC and smile, smile, smile.