M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Dear Dad, Again (1973)
Wayne Rogers: Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre
Photos
Quotes
-
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Knock knock.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Who's there?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Abe Lincoln.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Abe Lincoln who?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Don't you know me?
[laughs hysterically]
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : That's awful.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Wait, can I do another one?
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : No!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Knock knock.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Who's there?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Thomas Jefferson.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Thomas Jefferson who?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Was Abe Lincoln just here?
[laughs even more hysterically]
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Hawkeye, I've never liked you.
-
Major Franklin Marion Burns : Is that a martini?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : In case you didn't read the paper today, Prohibition was repealed.
Major Franklin Marion Burns : Well, I want one.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : [Hawkeye and Trapper are taken aback] A drink? You, Frank?
Major Franklin Marion Burns : A double.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Frank, if you have a drink, you'll loosen up. You might even smile. Frank, you could break your face!
-
[Frank Burns walks into the Swamp, slamming the door]
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Hiya, Chuckles!
[Frank removes his hat, and throws it down]
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I gotta hand it to you, Frank... you've got all the gaiety of an impacted wisdom tooth.