- [about the golf course he and Trapper set up on the camp]
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: It's a par 29.
- Henry Blake: [in a chopper] Shouldn't I have a parachute?
- John 'Cowboy' Hodges: It'll only break your fall.
- Henry Blake: That's not funny.
- John 'Cowboy' Hodges: Neither was you not letting me go home!
- Henry Blake: Okay, Trapper! Don't think I don't know what you think I don't know!
- Captain John McIntyre: [to Hawkeye] Would you translate that, please?
- Henry Blake: Where were you tonight when that jeep went through my quarters?
- Captain John McIntyre: [Jumping to his feet, startled] When the what went through your where?
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: He was right here!
- Henry Blake: Oh, yeah? And just where is here?
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: Here is where we are.
- Henry Blake: [Deflating] Oh. This here here?
- John 'Cowboy' Hodges: [wanting a letter from his wife to be read to him] Come on. Open it up. Let's hear it.
- Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce: "Dear... John..."