- Clark Kent: Dad, what happened to this shirt?
- Jonathan Kent: What do you mean?
- Clark Kent: It was white.
- Jonathan Kent: I just washed it. It should be clean.
- Clark Kent: Well, it's clean, Dad. Only now it's pink. You didn't wash this with my cape, did you?
- Jonathan Kent: Can't you fix it with your heat vision or something?
- Clark Kent: Dad, there's no superpower on Earth that can get this out!
- Martha Kent: All this garlic gives me gas.
- Clark Kent: Mom! We're in front of company.
- Martha Kent: Oh, sorry, Lois. She's family.
- Lois Lane: Excuse me, Lois Lane here. Remember me? Award-winning investigative reporter, emphasis on investigative, specializing in covert break-ins.
- Perry White: Lois, you may not go on this mission.
- Lois Lane: Well, what am I supposed to do, sit here knitting, waiting for the hunter-gatherers to return?
- Perry White: Clark, explain it to her, will you?
- Clark Kent: Chief, have you heard the expression "pulling a Schultz?"
- Perry White: Ah, Hogan's Heroes. I know nothing.
- Clark Kent: I see nothing.
- Perry White: I hear nothing.
- Police Detective: This hooded figure, did you get a look at his face?
- Perry White: [pause] He was wearing a hood.
- [after hugging Lois who is disguised as a man]
- Perry White: [to a passerby] It's a girl! Ok, it's a girl!