- Detective Lennie Briscoe: So, Dr. Brody, tell me a story.
- Assistant Medical Examiner Brody: What we've got here is one very dead lady.
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: You went to school for that?
- Assistant Medical Examiner Brody: [sheepishly annoyed] Made Mom proud.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: I thought you said no jury would convict Little Orphan Annie.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: I did. Lizzie Borden is a different matter.
- [walks away]
- Dr. Emil Skoda: This girl really got under his skin.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: Ya think?
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: What confuses me, Mr. Bergan, is that if the bartender actually pressed charges, as a first-time offender, Fiona would have drawn... a suspended sentence, with a $250 fine. Yet you chose to pay the bartender $1,000 to make it all go away. To me, that seems an odd choice. Considering a teacher's salary.
- Gary Bergan: Fiona insisted. She told me that a criminal record would hurt her chances of getting into a good college.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Sure, that is one possibility. Another is that Fiona was scared.
- Jessica Sheets: Well, of course she was scared.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Scared that the parole board down in Florida might issue a warrant for her arrest if her fingerprints ever happened to hit the system. That would put a quick end to your game, wouldn't it?
- Fiona Reid: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: That's right, I forgot. You're insane.
- Jessica Sheets: [standing up to leave] All right, I think we are done here.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: So insane that you went to Milford, Connecticut. So insane that when you were carded in that bar in Milford, you used your old Marguerite Sampson driver's license. Pretty strange, wouldn't you say? Considering you testified you'd never heard of her.
- Fiona Reid: [smirks] You're good.
- Jessica Sheets: Fiona?
- Fiona Reid: But you see, Mr. McCoy, what I'm good at, what my special talent is, is to make people see what they want to see. And it's carried me this far in life; I doubt it'll let me down with twelve people unable to avoid jury duty.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Without an attorney, it might. Fact is, unlike you, your lawyer is bound by a code of ethics. She can't knowingly let you lie on the stand, nor can she lie to the jury in her closing.
- Fiona Reid: You think I need her to win? The jury already sees me as a poor, abused, abandoned child. All they're concerned about, all they really hope for, is to save my soul.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Until Mr. Bergan takes the stand.
- Fiona Reid: Him? As far as they're concerned, he's a child molester. Who's gonna believe him?
- Detective Ed Green: [watching surveillance footage] The last time I spent this much time in a principal's office I left with a 2-day suspension.
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: I couldn't sit down for a week.
- Principal: [enters] We need to bring back more punishments like that if you ask me.
- Detective Ed Green: You're just lucky your kids are grown. Sorry, sorry about that. Sorry about that.
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: You're just lucky you never had any.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: So being sixteen forever wouldn't be so bad.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: That must've been one hell of a prom night.
- Jessica Sheets: [about Fiona] She's 16, Jack. When you were 16, you were sneaking into ball games and swiping cigarettes from a local bodega.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Neither of which is a Class A felony.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: You know what irritates me to no end? It's how law has become a tool to assuage society's guilt. "Not my little Suzie with the cute little dimples. That dirty old man must have talked her into it. Let's lock him up and throw away the key."
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Fiona isn't just getting a free pass.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: Okay, let's assume she's telling us the truth. She and Bergin conspired to kill Valerie Keenan. What happens now? Fiona goes and spends three years in a juvenile facility. Her record's expunged, she goes to college. She lives happily ever after. While Bergin, on the other hand, he gets to wear gray pajamas for the next 25 years or so.
- Detective Ed Green: They found the
- [teacher's]
- Detective Ed Green: body over here in this janitor's closet with a whole bunch of bloody rags. Must have killed her someplace else, dumped the body here, and used the rags to clean up.
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: He gets an A+ for Neatness.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Forget it, Serena. No jury in the world will convict Little Orphan Annie.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: What's this guy Bergin teach anyway?
- Detective Ed Green: English.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: Good. I was afraid it was political science. You know, all that nonsense about the Bill of Rights and stuff like that.
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: [about Fiona] If you lie to one boyfriend, that usually means you've got another one.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: So, her sex life is better than mine. So what?
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: It's called "res ipsa loquitur", Mr. Bergin. I'm sure your attorney will explain it to you.
- Mr. Bergin's Attorney: It's Italian hocus pocus for, "They've got a bellyful of bubkes."
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: Actually, it's Latin for, "Two half-naked people in an apartment are probably not there to play Scrabble."
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: [to McCoy] You know, not to get into specifics, but I was escorted to my junior prom by a college senior. I suppose you'd lock him up.
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: That would depend on the specifics.
- A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: Good. Go arrest him. He's in the State Senate now.
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: Hey, Ed? Quick. What was the name of your ninth grade Algebra teacher?
- Detective Ed Green: Mr. Heinrick.
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: Spanish?
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: Senor Sanchez.
- Anita Van Buren: Is there some reason for this stroll down memory lane?
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: Mr. Heinrick. Mr. Sanchez. Not William or Freddy...
- Detective Ed Green: or Boz. When we started talking to Fiona, it was Mr. Bergin this, Mr. Bergin that. We squeeze her a little bit, out comes Boz.
- Anita Van Buren: But I thought his name was Gary.
- Detective Ed Green: Yeah, but to those who know and love him...
- Detective Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, and when he's not spending extracurricular time with the fairer members of the faculty, maybe he's picking some unripe peaches off the junior class tree.
- Anita Van Buren: Look, we're working Homicide here, remember? Vice is down the hall.
- Jessica Sheets: So that's the bastard, huh?
- Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Now that's the Jessica I remember.