The Larry Sanders Show (TV Series)

Off Camera (1993)

Rip Torn: Arthur

Photos 

Quotes 

• Arthur : Fucking musicians.

• Robert Brody : Tell me, has Larry ever been romantically involved with any of the guests?

  Arthur : What kind of fuck question is that?

  Robert Brody : My editor put in on you. Right? It's inappropriate.

  Arthur : You think we're busting our balls doing 1400 shows so Larry can get laid? Believe me, if Mr. Sanders wanted to fuck talent, he would be an agent.

• Phil : [screaming, off-screen, while Larry is interviewing Gene Siskel]  AAAH! God, you son-of-a... ugh.

  [on screen] 

  Phil : You little son-of-a-bitch! Artie, this godamn dog bit me. Darlene!

  Arthur : [Darlene runs]  Come back here.

  Phil : Jesus...

  Arthur : I'm running a fucking pre-school.

  Phil : It's bleeding, I think I'm gonna puke.

  Arthur : Oh bullshit. Well, just some punctuals, no stitches necessary. We'll get a tectanus shot after the show. Now I want you to go to my office, top left drawer, bottle of brandy, big belt, pour on that hand and you'll be fine.

  Phil : But it really hurts.

  Arthur : Oh stop being such a fucking baby, goddamnit, Phil. So you jerk off with the other hand for a few weeks.

• [last lines] 

  Arthur : I never understood why you read this shit.

  Larry Sanders : Because it's an article about the show.

  Arthur : I'm sure it's excellent publicity.

  Larry Sanders : Excellent publicity? Excellent... have you seen this? You know what it's... it's unbelievable. This guy says John Ritter and Gene Siskel got into a fight; a dog bit Phil; you and Phil were wrestling on the floor; says you and Elizabeth Ashley were doing god-knows-what in the wardrobe room.

  Arthur : You see what these guys are, they come on the show and it's not exciting enough for them and they make up this shit.