The L Word (TV Series)

Pilot (2004)

Jennifer Beals: Bette Porter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bette : [holding a specimen cup of sperm]  God, it's repugnant, I can't believe I used to swallow that stuff.

• Dr. Wilson : All right, I'm going to take a look at this and while I'm gone, well, you remember how I told you that there's a fair amount of evidence now? It's more likely to take if you're aroused.

  [Bette looks a tiny bit put off at the suggestion. The doctor turns the light off and winks at Bette then leaves the room. Bette turns toward Tina] 

  Bette : [laughs]  She's not serious! Am I supposed to fuck you right here?

  Tina : I think it would help.

• Bette : You ever notice that whenever Shane walks in the room, someone runs out crying?

• [Bette enters The Planet and sees Dana] 

  Bette : Is that Dana Fairbanks? Hanging out at The Planet in West Hollywood?

  Alice : Shh! She doesn't want her tennis fans to know she's a *gay lady*.

  [Dana gives Alice a hostile look] 

• Shane : It has nothing to do with you guys. You know, it's the... it's the new male.

  Dana : What? What do you know about men, I mean, you've never even been with a man.

  Shane : Well, the new male is more spiritual than the old male. He sees his sperm as an extension of his inner being, whereas the old male shot into any female without thinking about what would happen. The new male totally cares what becomes of his seed.

  Alice : Oh, my god, it's Yoda.

  Dana : Yeah, they teach that at hairdresser school, by the way.

  Bette : Well that's great. Why do they have to go all sensitive on us just when we need them to keep on being the same old assholes.