King of the Hill (TV Series)

Pilot (1997)

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Working on Hank's pickup truck] 

  Dale : You know what the problem is? It's a Ford. You know what Ford stands for? Fix It Again Tony.

  Hank : Dale, that's a Fiat.

• Dale : Open up your eyes, man. They're tryin' to control global warmin'. Get it? Glo-bal.

  Hank : So what?

  Dale : That's code for UN commissars tellin' Americans what temperature it's gonna be in our outdoors. I say, let the world warm up. We'll grow oranges in Alaska.

  Hank : Dale, you giblet head. We live in Texas. It's already 110 in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass!

• Hank : What you listening to, son?

  Bobby Hill : I don't think you'd like it.

  Hank : Well, why not? I like this new generation of music.

  [puts on Bobby's headphones] 

  Person on Phone : [phone rings]  Hello?

  [a farting sound occurs] 

  Hank : Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where did you record this?

  Bobby Hill : I bought it at the mall. It's the funny phone jerks.

  Hank : Let me tell you, Bobby. There's nothing funny about these sounds. What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder.

• Hank : Now you listen here. You see that boy? That's my boy! And if you ever try to take him away, so help me God, I'll tear you a new one bigger'n the Grand Canyon.

• Hank : [to Page]  Now you listen to me, mister. I work for a living. And I mean real work. Not writing down gobbledygook. I provide the people of this community with propane and propane accessories. When I think of all my hard-earned tax dollars... going to pay a bunch of little twig-boy bureaucrats like you...

  [Hank is becoming so angry his face is turning colors] 

  Hank : it just makes me want to... God, it just...

  [to Peggy] 

  Hank : Honey, bring me my BC Headache Powder and a glass of water.

  [back to Page] 

  Hank : Now, you listen here. You see that boy? That's my boy. And if you ever try to take him away, so help me God... I'll tear you a new one bigger than the Grand Canyon. Now I want you to get out of my house. You're not welcome here. I mean now, before I give you a black eye! GIT!

• [the guys are outside wondering how to fix Hank's truck] 

  Dale : I know what's wrong with it. It's a Ford. You know what they say Ford stands for, don't you? It stands for "Fix It Again, Tony."

  [chuckles] 

  Hank : You're thinking of a Fiat, Dale.

  Dale : "Fix... it... *again*..."

• [Hank is lying on the bed, despondent] 

  Hank : It's hard, Peggy. I don't want to lose my little boy, my only son. But, oh, it's hard.

  Peggy Hill : Well, you can relax. The investigation has been off for a week only, Bobby didn't tell us.

  Hank : [bolts upright]  I'LL KILL HIM!

• [Hank chases Page out of the house] 

  Anthony Page : You are out of control!

  Hank : [slaps Page's car]  You're out of control, Twiggy!