"King of the Hill" Hank's Got the Willies (TV Episode 1997) - Mike Judge as Hank Hill, Boomhauer

Bobby Hill : Dad, guess where I am?

Hank Hill : I dunno. Let's see, crushing Dwight Yoakam's voice box with my 5-iron?

Bobby Hill : I'm at Willie Nelson's and he wants you to come over.

Hank Hill : Son, you're teasin' the gorilla in the monkey house.
Hank Hill : Santa Claus is for babies.

Bill Dauterive : You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
Hank Hill : [hearing a strange sound] What is that chinging sound?

Dale : One of those stealth helicopters with computerized noise-canceling capability. They're still working the chings out.

Bill Dauterive : How'd you know about the stealth helicopters?

Dale : alt.conspiracy.black.helicopters

Boomhauer : Yeah man, I tell you what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
Boomhauer : Yeah man, I tell ya what. That dang ol' internet man. You just go out on there and point and click. Yeah and talk about w w dot w com, man. You got them naked chicks on there, man. You go click click click click click click click click. It's real easy.
Hank Hill : Sit in the middle, son. I wanna make sure Betsy's in front of the air bag.

[Betsy is Hank's guitar]
Hank Hill : I must have spent 6 hours last April on that 1040 form. EZ my ass.
Hank Hill : Willie Nelson! Oh my Lord! Are you okay?

Willie Nelson : Am I bleeding from the ears?

Hank Hill : No.

Willie Nelson : Then I must be okay then.

Mike Judge: Hank Hill, Boomhauer