- [after swapping their costumes for cowboy clothes]
- Wonder Woman: These shoes are killing me.
- Batman: You fight crime wearing high heels.
- Wonder Woman: High heels that fit!
- Wonder Woman: [deflecting as the cowboys fire] Those are the biggest, slowest bullets I've ever seen.
- Jonah Hex: Fancy gun-belts you've got there. I'm thinking you folks are time-travelers.
- Bruce Wayne: Where would you get a crazy idea like that?
- Jonah Hex: Experience. I've had an interesting life.
- Green Lantern: Anyway, why are we always talking about my love life? What's going on between you and Diana?
- Batman: Nothing. She's a respected colleague.
- Green Lantern: [unconvinced] Uh-huh.
- Batman: I don't have time to pursue a relationship. My work is too important to allow another distraction. Diana's a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's... standing right behind me, isn't she?
- Wonder Woman: Don't let that stop you.
- [leans over him, flirtatiously]
- Wonder Woman: Keep digging.
- Green Lantern: Diana's carrying a grudge.
- Batman: She'll get over it. How 'bout you? Carrying anything?
- Green Lantern: What? Shayera? We're cool. We're giving each other our space. I'm seeing Vixen, now... I'm very happy.
- Batman: [Unconvinced] Uh-huh.
- [after taking the robbers' clothes, Lantern checks their pistols]
- Green Lantern: Those empty holsters aren't gonna scare anybody. You sure you don't want one of these?
- Batman: Positive. Let's ride!
- Bartholomew Aloysius Lash: They sprung me while I was here incognito to see what I could find out about Tobias.
- Sheriff Ohiyesa 'Pow Wow' Smith: Find out anything?
- Bartholomew Aloysius Lash: Among other moral failings, the man cheats at poker.
- Jonah Hex: [scoffs] I could have told you that.
- Sheriff Ohiyesa 'Pow Wow' Smith: We're getting close. I should warn you, there's been some downright unusual activity going on at this place. Don't let it throw you.
- Green Lantern: Don't worry about it. We've had a lot of experience with unusual...
- [an animal roars; they look up and see a sentry riding a pterodactyl toward them]
- Green Lantern: I'm sorry, you were saying?
- David Clinton: He keeps me here to show him out how to work the stuff he can't figure out for himself.
- Bartholomew Aloysius Lash: Which I'd suspect is most of it, what with him being so mule-stupid and all.
- Batman: [looking at a newspaper] I was afraid of this. The Elkhorn Gazette. It's either an amazing forgery, or it's less than a month old.
- Wonder Woman: So?
- Batman: Look at the date: June 1879.
- Green Lantern: I have mentioned how much I hate time travel.
- Enid Clinton: Let me get this straight: you've got a suit that lets you travel in time and you've been using it to steal historical trash? You stupid little man! You could go back and steal gold and jewels. You could get stock information from the future. We could be rich.
- David Clinton: No! We can't use the suit to do anything that could change history. I'm careful to only take things that wouldn't be missed.
- Enid Clinton: Like your spine?
- David Clinton: Enid, please. Don't talk to me like that. I love...
- Enid Clinton: Mother was right. I should've married Jim Dorman. He's a very successful lawyer, and you *are* a loser. Always were, always will be.
- David Clinton: But...
- Enid Clinton: You worthless, good-for-nothing, wretched waste of space! YOU INVENT A TIME MACHINE AND CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING USEFUL TO DO WITH IT?
- David Clinton: I can think of one thing.
- [opening a portal]
- David Clinton: I can use it to get away from you!
- [Manning faces off with Smith and extends his six-barrelled gun]
- Tobias Manning: Now go for your gun, chief, so I can ventilate you proper!
- [the rest of the League forms up behind Smith]
- Batman: Six guns, six of us. Nobody miss.
- [Manning and Bat are both pointing guns at each other over a poker game]
- Bartholomew Aloysius Lash: Seems a shame for us to shoot each other. Why don't we split the pot and both walk away?
- [Manning's gun extends six additional barrels]
- Tobias Manning: How about I keep it all?
- Bartholomew Aloysius Lash: Sounds fair when you explain it.
- Batman: I'd get out of town if I were you.
- Bartholomew Aloysius Lash: I'd like to, but like my pappy always said, "A man who buries his head in the sand makes a pretty good target."
- Wonder Woman: Don't hurt anyone. We could accidentally change history.
- Green Lantern: Little late for that, don't you think?
- Sheriff Ohiyesa 'Pow Wow' Smith: Tobias Manning's always been trouble. I've run him out of town before. Well, he came back, except this time he had... I don't know, magic powers.
- El Diablo: There's no such thing as magic, my friend. It was some sort of trickery.
- Sheriff Ohiyesa 'Pow Wow' Smith: Well, he "tricked" me near to death.
- Princess Diana: We have to help that man.
- Bruce Wayne: That's not what we're here for. Someone's tampering with history. The stakes are much bigger than the life of one card shark.
- Princess Diana: Then it's settled. We'll break him out after sundown.
- Green Lantern: [breaking Bat Lash out of jail] I'm John. These are my friends Diana and, uh...
- Bruce Wayne: Bruce.
- Green Lantern: We're lawmen looking to bring a criminal to justice.
- Princess Diana: You may have seen him. He's got amazing machines. We think the man who put you in here works for him.
- David Clinton: Not quite, Wonder Woman.
- Princess Diana: How do you know who I am?
- Bruce Wayne: Because he's the man we're looking for.
- David Clinton: David Clinton, inventor of the chrono-suit, at your disposal.
- Green Lantern: You tried to steal Batman's utility belt.
- David Clinton: And you chased me, but time tunnels are somewhat counter-intuitive. Even though you were only seconds behind me, I arrived here nearly six months before you did.
- Bruce Wayne: Where's your time travel device?
- David Clinton: Now, that's a story. As soon as I got here, I was robbed.
- Princess Diana: By Tobias Manning.
- David Clinton: Yes, ma'am. He took my suit and used it to take over this town. He keeps taking trips to the future and coming back with stolen technology.
- Green Lantern: Near as my ring can figure, that's everything that shouldn't be here.
- Bat Lash: Shoot. I wanted me one of them fancy ray guns.
- Jonah Hex: Ain't dependable. They jam.
- David Clinton: That's not going to work. I tried it. Yeah, those bars are cheap pig iron, but they're plenty strong enough to hold. At least until morning when they come to hang you.
- Bat Lash: Do you mind? I'm trying to plan an escape over here.
- David Clinton: How's it going so far?
- Bat Lash: I'm working on it.
- Enid Clinton: Come on out, David. I know you're here.
- David Clinton: Oh. Hello, dear. I was just cataloging some of my collection.
- Enid Clinton: Collection? Pfft. Bunch of junk.
- David Clinton: It's not junk. This comb belonged to Cleopatra. And this, this is an actual early draft of the Magna Carta. And this...
- Enid Clinton: Right. Like you could afford these things on a physics professor's salary. We can't even afford the new car I want.
- David Clinton: I-I didn't buy them, Enid. I sort of... took them.
- Enid Clinton: You robbed a museum? Is that why you're wearing that goofy catsuit?
- David Clinton: Well, sort of. Not exactly. Remember last summer when I didn't get tenure?
- Enid Clinton: Yeah. They thought you were crazy because you kept insisting you were on the verge of discovering... time travel.
- David Clinton: It's my chrono-suit. I've had it working for months. I've been using it to gather treasures for my collection. And you said I was a loser.
- Bat Lash: [Introducing himself] Bartholomew Aloysius Lash, at your service. My friends call me Bat. Bat Lash.
- Tobias Manning: If it isn't Pow-wow Smith. Wasn't expectin' to see your sorry hide again.
- Sheriff Ohiyesa 'Pow Wow' Smith: I've told you before about calling me that. It ain't gonna happen again.
- Tobias Manning: [aiming a gun at him] No. I expect this is the last time.