Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

The Withholder (1998)

Enrico Colantoni: Elliot DiMauro

Quotes 

• Elliot : Tell me you didn't do anything weird like talk about your action figure collection.

  Dennis : A: of course not; and B: it's a sound financial investment.

  Maya : C: not if you take them out of the box and play with them.

• Elliot : Trust me. Revenge is a dish best served with fresh maple syrup.

• Elliot : I'd love to do to her what she did to him. I'd wine her and dine her, and just when I have her on the palm of my hand, I'd say, "You screwed over my friend, and that's not cool with me!"

  Maya : Easier said than done.

  Elliot : Oh, please. I date supermodels. She's just a civilian.

  Maya : You know, you make it hard to root for you.

• Elliot : I'm telling you, she's amazing! It felt like I was with three women, and I've been with three women.

• Elliot : I assumed you closed the deal.

  Dennis : Please, a gentleman doesn't tell.

  Maya : So what's stopping you?

  Dennis : Let's just say I did my fair share of body surfing. Yeah!

  [high-fives Elliot] 

  Maya : What does that mean?

  Dennis : Let's just say all of Dennis' fun wasn't under the sun. Yeah!

  [high-fives Elliot] 

  Maya : What are you saying?

  Dennis : Let's just say the tide was not the only thing going in and out. Yeah!

  [high-fives Elliot; Elliot refuses] 

  Elliot : You didn't get any, did you?

  Dennis : No.

• Dennis : It's not like I didn't see her naked.

  Elliot : Did you?

  Dennis : Yeah. I just pretended to be asleep while she was getting it on with the tennis pro.

• Elliot : I'll break it off, but I have to do it carefully. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

  Maya : And you call yourself a womanizer.