Wendie Malick: Nina Van Horn

Quotes 

• Nina Van Horn : I would give you some of my pain medication, but that would screw up my Saturday night.

• Rhonda Ferrara : Hey, slim. You're ribs are showing.

  Nina Van Horn : Not all of them. I left two with a doctor in Mexico.

• Nina Van Horn : Are things more relaxed without Jack around, or is that the gin talking?

  Maya Gallo : Could be the gin, could be the brandy you had before the gin. Boop, Bam!

  Nina Van Horn : What was that about?

  Maya Gallo : You're always taking swipes at me, so I thought I should start firing them back.

  Nina Van Horn : Don't mess with me, Maya. I will eat you alive.

  Maya Gallo : Then throw me up five minutes later. Zing, shazam!

• Dennis Finch : Nina, you just got a call from an Andre.

  Nina Van Horn : Ah, Andre Delacroix, masseuse to the stars. A massage from him is like being touched by the hands of God, except God doesn't spend that much time on your thighs.

• Andre Delacroix : I'm Andre. I'm looking for Nina.

  Jack Gallo : Who is that?

  Nina Van Horn : It's the delivery man. He's here to deliver my... my purse.

  [picks up Andre's gear] 

  Jack Gallo : It looks enormous!

  Nina Van Horn : It's the latest trend from Milan. Big is in.

  Maya Gallo : It's almost big enough for your make up. Bounce, bounce, count it!

• Nina Van Horn : You know, that color is unflattering on you.

  Maya Gallo : What, because I'm standing up for myself?

  Nina Van Horn : No, I meant brown. You look like a frumpy Raisinette.

  Maya Gallo : That was unnecessary.

  Nina Van Horn : Oh, like the other half of your bed? Ah, order has been restored.

• Nina Van Horn : I can't remember the last time I was so disappointed.

  Maya Gallo : Was it when Roosevelt was reelected? Teddy? Booyah!