Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Touch Move (2003)

Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi

Quotes 

• Joan : Oh, is that the three-year-old kid who got kidnapped?

  Will : Missing.

  Joan : Okay, got missing. I read it in the newspaper. It said you guys have no leads and it's been, like, six weeks.

  Will : Four days, we have leads, and when did you start reading the paper?

• Cute Boy God : Oh, Joan, it would have been so much easier if you just read the book. Now I'm gonna have to send you to the basement.

  Joan : You mean like, Hell?

  Cute Boy God : No, I mean, like, the basement. There's one in the school. Check it out.

• Joan : [to Grace]  My dad's Italian. To him, a sandwich is like an opera.

• Joan : [Joan sees Cute Boy God sitting on a school desk]  What are you doing? You can't be here.

  Cute Boy God : Hmm, and yet I am. Walk with me.

  Joan : No. People are gonna see me.

  Cute Boy God : Yes, they will. That optic nerve was an inspired idea, wasn't it?

  Joan : I meant that they'll see you.

  Cute Boy God : Yeah I've noticed that this looks turns a lot of heads.

  Joan : It's called being hot.

• Joan : There's nothing to eat.

  Helen Girardi : Keep looking. There may be something hidden behind all that food.

• Will : [on the phone]  Yes, sir. I-I understand, but I assure you, my guys are on it.

  Joan : "Sir"? Who does he call "sir"?

  Luke Girardi : His boss.

  Joan : He doesn't have a boss.

  Luke Girardi : Sure he does. The commissioner, the mayor, Attorney General, mom.

• Joan : [to Luke as the doorbell rings]  This one's mine. You got the Jehovah's Witness.

• Joan : Oh, god. You are just a three-ring circus, aren't you?

  Mailwoman God : Okay, price went up. Give me the whole twelve.

  Joan : What are you gonna do with money?

  Mailwoman God : It's not what I'm gonna do with it. It's what you're gonna do without it.

• Joan : Any guess as to when this is going to end? First a job at a bookstore, then AP Chemistry... how do you top that?

  Mailwoman God : You don't have to accept the package, you know.

  Joan : Oh, yeah, okay. And I could also take the blue pill. Hand it over.

  Mailwoman God : [exchanging the package for the money]  In me you trust. Not entirely true.

• Principal Stephen Chadwick : Joan, I have to admit, I was concerned when you wanted to take AP Chem. But recent events prove that you have some scientific talent of which only you were aware, and we're happy you're finding a way to express it.

  Joan : What are you talking about?

  Mr. Poplin : Your abilities in the game of chess border on genius.

  Helen Girardi : Why didn't you tell anyone? Did Luke teach you?

  Joan : Nobody taught me. It was an accident.

  Mr. Poplin : You beat our highest-ranked player in six moves.

  Joan : I didn't mean to.

• Sophie : We need to talk.

  Joan : About what?

  Elyse : Your behavior.

  Sophie : It's so not cool. Flirting with Dax in the hall for everyone to see? Lynnie cried all through World Geography.

  Elyse : Stealing someone's boyfriend does not look good on the social résumé.

  Joan : I did not flirt with him. He came up to me.

  [seeing they don't believe her] 

  Joan : You know what? Bite me.

• Luke Girardi : Can you just leave my sister alone?

  Sophie : Back off, pinhead.

  Luke Girardi : Hey! That's "Mr. Pinhead" to you.

  Joan : You know what? I don't care about Dax Hibbing or Lynnie Carmichael or my social résumé or who's gay or who's not. I can't spend my time on this planet worrying about that stuff. There's other things to do.

  Elyse : Like what? Chemistry and chess?

  Joan : Yeah. Like that. Now, those guys may be nerds, but at least they know what they're here for.

  Luke Girardi : [Sophie and Elyse leave]  You called me a nerd.

  Joan : It was a metaphor.

• Kevin : [startled by Joan]  Don't startle the cripple. My fight or flight impulse is very confused. What were you doing?

  Joan : I was imagining I was in a coma. It's not so bad. I hate school. I have no friends. I can't fit in. I don't know who I like. I'm miserable, and I-I've got this-this... *zit* in my ear. Ow.

  Kevin : Yeah, I didn't need to know that last part, but... I have to concur, high school sucks.

• Joan : Look, Grace, I'm really sorry.

  Grace : Yeah, the taking of the sandwich is a symbolic act designed to avoid direct confrontation. Don't worry.