- [Luke, Grace, Friedman and Glynis are looking through one of the Girardis' photo albums]
- Friedman: Oh, man. Here's Luke in a little Dalmatian outfit.
- Glynis Figliola: Oh! Look at his little ears!
- Luke: It was Halloween, I was 3! Put that away...
- [he tries to take the album off Friedman but he fights back]
- Grace Polk: Hey, let me see.
- Glynis Figliola: The colour palette suits you.
- Friedman: Dude, your sister's, like, naked.
- Luke: She's a baby!
- [Friedman is looking at photos of Joan as a baby]
- Friedman: Look at the legs on her.
- Joan: Are those my baby pictures?
- Grace Polk: Impressive use of fat.
- Joan: This is a nightmare!
- Adam: You're promoting intimacy.
- Joan Girardi: They're my parents.
- Adam: Well, what about us?
- Joan Girardi: What about us?
- Adam: What about us?
- Joan Girardi: What *about* us?
- Adam: What about...
- Joan Girardi: Is it just me or is this going nowhere?
- Liquor Store Clerk God: Joan, you did invite Adam?
- Joan: Sure.
- Liquor Store Clerk God: And he realizes you're inviting him?
- Joan: As in a date?
- Liquor Store Clerk God: Figure it out.
- Luke: I'm sorry, he's approving your guest list?
- Adam: Maybe I'm bad at stuff like this... but we kissed. It's not like I've kissed a lot of girls. Maybe I've only kissed one.
- Joan Girardi: Right.
- Adam: Well maybe it meant something to me.
- Joan Girardi: Maybe it meant something to me, too.
- Adam: I don't... I don't know what to do with it now.
- Joan Girardi: [chuckles] Me neither.
- Adam: Maybe it's like that anti-drug guy said, you know? Romantic love is like a mental illness. It just happens and then what are you gonna do?
- Joan Girardi: Maybe we're just not ready.
- Adam: Okay. I accept that. Were you ready for that other guy?
- [Referencing God, whom Joan was dancing with at the party]
- Joan Girardi: That's different.
- [after a long pause]
- Joan Girardi: Hey, wanna dance?
- Cute Boy God: You wanna dance?
- Joan: Can I say no?
- Cute Boy God: Of course you can.
- [Cute Boy God takes garbage from Joan and sets it down]
- Cute Boy God: Come on.
- [They begin slow dancing]
- Cute Boy God: So how did you like your party?
- Joan: I don't. What's the big idea?
- Cute Boy God: The big idea is recreation. You know what that means?
- Joan: Whatever.
- Cute Boy God: Well let's break the word down, shall we. Re-create, to create again, begin again, to start over. People need to do that. Work is fine, but every now and then you got to take a break and recreate. Adam is confused.
- Joan: Adam is always confused.
- Cute Boy God: Okay, well you're introducing new levels of confusion.
- Joan: I'm not ready to couple.
- Cute Boy God: So tell him. Remember, recreation isn't about relaxing, it's about redefining.
- Joan: Redefining what?
- Cute Boy God: Whatever's become undefined.
- Health Spa Owner: Excuse me, sir. Are you carrying a firearm?
- Will Girardi: Uh, yes. I'm a police officer.
- Health Spa Owner: This is a peaceful atmosphere. We don't allow guns.
- Will Girardi: It's an aspect of my profession.
- Health Spa Owner: Be that as it may, we don't allow weapons.
- Will Girardi: I'm a police officer.
- Health Spa Owner: Be that as it may, sir.
- Will Girardi: [to Helen] Why does he keep saying that?
- Kevin Girardi: Pancakes, Joan, not pan bricks.
- Joan: I don't get it. I followed the directions on the box.
- Luke: [picking up a perfect pancake] Ah, eureka!
- Joan: How'd you do that?
- Luke: It's a chemical equation. It's all about conducting heat. J-Joan, you're not gonna get any molecular movement with Teflon.
- Joan: You learned how to cook in AP Chem? Since when?
- Luke: The whole flame on the flask idea? That's cooking.
- Joan: All I learned in there is how to make soap.
- Kevin Girardi: Looks like what you're doing right now.
- Dr. Halliwell God: Did you like my speech, Joan?
- Joan: Drugs are bad? That's not a new message. And since you're here, you invented drugs, didn't you?
- Dr. Halliwell God: I invented rattlesnakes; doesn't mean I want you playing around with them.
- Lt. Det. Toni Williams: I'm Sergeant Williams. We received a noise complaint. Think it's about time to break things up.
- Joan: Thank God.
- [to her party guests]
- Joan: Everybody, the police are here! Time to get out! Come on, clear out!