Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)

Double Dutch (2004)

Amber Tamblyn: Joan Girardi

Quotes 

• Joan : [referring to her new friend, Casper, a homeless inner-city kid who suddenly left without saying goodbye]  What a cop-out! You get me all wrapped up in her life, and now you're not even going to tell me what happened to her?

  Double Dutch Girl : [speaking as God]  The connection you and Casper had - you think that's gone just because she went away? Is your connection with Adam gone just because he's with Iris? Real connections - they can't be broken by time or space.

  Joan : I wanted to help her. I - I wanted to get her a place, get her dad a job.

  Double Dutch Girl : You can't fix everything, Joan.

  Joan : She's my friend. I want to know what's going to happen to her.

  Double Dutch Girl : I know you do. But, sometimes, it's enough to plant the seed, walk away, and let the flower grow on its own.

• Joan : Mom, whatever you did to Adam today, he's, like, totally catatonic, so I hope that's what you were going for.

  Helen Girardi : Yeah, well, my teaching methods are not open for discussion.

• Will Girardi : I smell garlic.

  Joan : Before you launch into the embarrassing lecture on the health benefits of garlic, this is my friend Casper, and she doesn't care.

  Will Girardi : Nice to meet you. It is a natural antibiotic, you know.

  Karen Casper : It also lowers blood pressure.

  Will Girardi : I love this kid.

• Luke Girardi : I mean, if you're embarrassed to be with me, why did you even ask me to come?

  Will Girardi : [he storms upstairs]  I'm not embarrassed to... Luke!

  Helen Girardi : What happened?

  Will Girardi : I can't really say.

  Joan : [scoffing]  Oh! How come he can get away with that?

  Helen Girardi : 'Cause he's confused. You're lying.

  Will Girardi : Do I want to know about this?

  Helen Girardi : Oh, you will.

• Joan : Remember when we were just losers? Sub-defectives with no hope of friends or a social life?

  Grace Polk : Something change that I don't know about?

  Joan : Uh, yeah. Adam's all "Ooh!" about Iris, and Luke, who I can always count on to be more pathetic than me, has hooked up with Glynis, shining a big spotlight on what a total washout I am. If I was a Viking, they'd put me on a flaming raft and send me out to sea.

  Grace Polk : You did the history reading.

  Joan : That's how desperate I am.

  Grace Polk : That thing with Rove is not gonna last.

  Joan : Oh, why? Are his lips gonna fall off from making out too much?

  Grace Polk : I was trying to be positive. It's not me. Rove and Iris are perfect for each other. They'll probably have a house full of emotionally damaged babies by senior year.

  Joan : So where do I fit in?

  Grace Polk : Mmm, you don't. Isn't that how this whole conversation got started?

• Joan : [to Mascot God]  Bite me, big bird.