It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)
Charlie Has Cancer (2005)
Rob McElhenney: Mac
Photos
Quotes
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Mac : [on his cell phone] Mom, I'm telling you, this girl's amazing. Yeah, I've got butterflies in my stomach. There's one little issue...
[Carmen sneaks up from behind and grabs his waist; Mac turns around and punches her in the face]
Carmen : Oh, God! I think you broke my nose!
Construction Worker : That guy's beating on that chick!
Carmen : Oh, my God!
Mac : Oh, no, you know, it's a dude. Yeah, she has a penis... so it's okay.
Construction Worker : Dude, isn't that a hate crime?
Construction Worker #2 : Shit yeah, it's a hate crime!
[they both chase after Mac]
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Mac : Are you sure?
Dennis Reynolds : Yeah, look at his jeans, dude. That's a- that's an unmistakable bulge of a large penis in those jeans.
Dee Reynolds : Yeah, that's a dick in those pants.
Mac : There's a dick in those pants!
Dennis Reynolds : Yeah.
Mac : I'll be right back.
[confronts Carmen]
Mac : Excuse me, bro, can you give me a second?
[club goer exits]
Mac : Thanks. Is that a penis in your pants?
Carmen : Yeah.
Mac : You lied to me!
Carmen : No, I didn't. You lied to me! You don't work out? Please, I see you at the gym. You're ripped.
Mac : Wait, don't turn this around... Wait, really? You think so?
Carmen : Yeah.
Mac : I was afraid I was getting a little too ripped, you know?
Carmen : No, I like it.
Mac : Wow. Hmm. Well, I gotta get back to work, um, but I don't know, maybe I'll give you a call sometime.
Carmen : Okay.
Mac : Yeah, yeah, I'll give you a call.
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Dee Reynolds : Dennis, maybe you need to rethink this whole plan of yours. I don't think getting Charlie laid is going to help his cancer problem.
Dennis Reynolds : Whatever.
Mac : Dennis, I think I found the perfect girl for Charlie! Smart, beautiful, the whole thing.
Dennis Reynolds : Where?
Mac : Right there.
Dennis Reynolds : Over there by the pool table?
Mac : Yeah. Nice.
Dennis Reynolds : That's great, Mac.
Dee Reynolds : Good work, Mac.
Dennis Reynolds : That's a dude.