I Love Lucy (TV Series)

Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying to Murder Her (1951)

Vivian Vance: Ethel Mertz

Quotes 

• Ethel Mertz : What's the matter?

  Lucy Ricardo : You're looking at a future doornail.

  Ethel Mertz : Huh?

  Lucy Ricardo : Ricky just tried to kill me.

  Ethel Mertz : [smiling]  Really? Then I'm a better fortune teller than I thought!

  [pauses] 

  Ethel Mertz : What am I saying? What are you talking about?

  Lucy Ricardo : I overheard him on the phone! He's been planning this a long time, and he finally decided to do it! Last night was just a dress rehearsal.

  Ethel Mertz : Oh, no, Lucy, you must have just misunderstood him.

  Lucy Ricardo : No, I didn't, he took a shot at me already, but he missed!

  Ethel Mertz : [They look for a bullet hole]  Was that the noise I heard just now?

  Lucy Ricardo : Yeah, he bought a gun specially for it. Let's see if it's in that desk!

  Ethel Mertz : [Lucy finds a gun in the desk]  Oh, you poor thing!

  Lucy Ricardo : [Lucy picks up an ink blotter]  Ricky wrote something when he was talking on the phone and he blotted it on this blotter!

  Ethel Mertz : [Moves away from the desk]  Where are you going?

  Lucy Ricardo : The mirror!

  Ethel Mertz : Mirror? Oh, so you can read it! My, you're clever!

  Lucy Ricardo : I don't read mystery books for nothing.

  Ethel Mertz : [Reading the list]  Helen, Anne, Mary... What does it mean?

  Lucy Ricardo : [Wailing]  I'm not even cold yet and Ricky's lining up girls to take my place! Helen, Anne, Mary, Cynthia, Alice, Theodore.

  [Turns to Ethel] 

  Lucy Ricardo : THEODORE!

• Lucy Ricardo : [thinks Ricky poisoned her]  How long have I got?

  Ethel Mertz : [looks in her eyes]  Not long.

  Lucy Ricardo : Well I've got enough time for what I'm going to do.

  [gets up and grabs Ricky's gun] 

  Ethel Mertz : Lucy, what're you going to do?

  Lucy Ricardo : I'm going down to the club to finish Ricky off. If I can't have him, nobody else will. I'm going to use the same gun he was going to use on me.