How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Purple Giraffe (2005)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney : What does Carlos have that I don't?

  Robin : A date tonight?

  Lily : Ooh, stop the tape, rewind, play it again!

  Robin : [makes rewind sound]  A date tonight?

• Marshall Eriksen : All right. We threw two parties. Everybody had fun. Everybody "wanged," everybody "chunged." Now The Kid has gotta get to work, and The Kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.

  Ted Mosby , Lily : I will not have sex with Marshall.

• Lily : Hey I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. Me beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong... my shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt any more. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.

  Marshall Eriksen : [Stops working and looks at Lily]  No underwear?

  Lily : Not even slightly.

  Ted Mosby : [See Ted sitting on the couch]  Guys. Boundaries.

• Ted Mosby : She's still talking to Carlos... I can still win this, it's not over!

  Lily : Okay, buddy, time for the tough talk... Robin seems great. But let's look at the facts, you wanna get married. And right now there's a million women in New York looking for exactly you... but Robin ain't one of them.

• Ted Mosby : I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.

  Lily : That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever.

• Ted Mosby : [about Robin]  She wants casual... OK. I'll be casual, I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual! You know why? 'Cause it's a game. I wanted to skip to the end and do the whole "happily ever after" thing, but you can't do that UNLESS you play the game.

  Marshall Eriksen : So you're gonna ask her out?

  Ted Mosby : Yeah - NO! I can't ask her out because if I ask her out, I'm ASKING HER OUT. So how do I ask her out without asking her out...

  Lily : ...Did you guys get high?

• Barney : What's he got that I don't?

  Robin : A date tonight?

  Lily : Ohhhhh, Robin! Pause tape, rewind!

  Robin : [makes sound of tape being played backward]  A date tonight?

  Barney : I don't think I like her...

• Lily : [At the bar with Robin]  Look who I ran into.

  Ted Mosby : Since when do you guys know each other?

  Robin : Since about, here.

  [Points to top of glass] 

• Lily : Hey, law books. Ready for a little fifteen minute recess?

  Marshall Eriksen : Sorry, baby, I got to work. I need all my blood up here.

  [indicating his brain] 

  Marshall Eriksen : [to the party guests at large]  Has anybody seen "An Introduction to Contract Tort and Restitution Statues from 1865-1923"?

  [silence] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Anybody seen a big-ass book?

• Lily : [Ted is depressed that Robin never showed at his party]  At least it was a great party.

  Marshall Eriksen : I ate, like, four whole cans of dip.

  Ted Mosby : [sarcastic]  You always know what to say, old friend.

• Marshall Eriksen : [Ted has impulsively decided to throw a second party in order to see Robin]  Can you believe this guy? I got a paper to write.

  [seeing Lily seductively playing with her engagement ring] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Okay, fine.

  [taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom] 

  Marshall Eriksen : But it's gotta be, like, super quick, and no cuddling after.

  Lily : I'm the luckiest girl alive.

• Ted Mosby : I got it. I don't ask her out. I invite her to our party next Friday.

  Marshall Eriksen : We're having a party next Friday?

  Ted Mosby : We are now. Casual.

  Barney : Yeah, 'cause nothing says "casual" like inviting a hundred people over just to mack on one girl. Oh, and Lily, that's my leg.

  Lily : [playing footsie under the table, she freaks out and stops]  You waited five minutes to tell me that?