How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Matchmaker (2005)

Jason Segel: Marshall Eriksen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marshall : No, it wasn't a cockroach, it had fur. And only mammals have fur.

  Lily : It was a cockroach.

  Marshall : Come on Lily, the only way it was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed.

  Lily : Oh my god!

  Marshall : Yeah, it had six legs, a hard exoskeleton like a roach!

  Lily : But it also had mouse-like characteristics, grey brown tufts of fur, a tail.

  Robin : So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse?

  Marshall : It's a cockamouse!

  Lily : It's a whole new species, the cockamouse.

  Marshall : And it's the size of a potato.

  Robin : So what now, a cocka-potato-mouse?

  Marshall : Don't make it sound ridiculous, it's a cockamouse.

• Barney Stinson : [to Ted]  Marshall ran away from a cockroach.

  Marshall : It was a mouse!

  Barney Stinson : Oh, sorry, my bad, you're a man.

• Lily : [about the Cockamouse]  It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. It's as if a cockroach and a mouse... you know...

  Barney : Hit the horizontal ten-legged inter-species cha-cha?

  Robin : That's impossible. That simply can't happen.

  Lily : Oh, but it can.

  Marshall : And it has.

  Lily : And it's pissed.

• Robin : [after Marshall captures the Cockamouse and throws it out the window]  It can fly.

  Marshall , Lily : Wow.

  Marshall : Be free, mutant beast. I'll miss this private war of ours. I grew to admire your tenacious... Oh my God, it's headed this way!

  [Slams the window shut]