House M.D. (TV Series)

Skin Deep (2006)

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. James Wilson : [using a gruff disguised voice]  House. This is God.

  Dr. Gregory House : [while inside of the MRI chamber]  Look, I'm a little busy right now; not supposed to talk during these things. Got time Thursday?

  Dr. James Wilson : Let me check. Ohh, I gotta plague! What about Friday?

  Dr. Gregory House : You'll have to check with Cameron.

  Dr. James Wilson : Oh, damn it! She always wants to know why bad things happen. Like I'm going to come up with a new answer this time!

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [as she enters the MRI room]  House!

  Dr. Gregory House : Quick, God! Smite the evil witch!

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Are you sitting on evidence that your patient was sexually abused by her father?

  Dr. Gregory House : God, why have you forsaken me?

• Dr. Gregory House : [to Wilson after he has just said that his pain is probably psychological from breaking up with Stacy, House has hit him in the shin]  Awwww. Do you miss Stacy too?

• Dr. Gregory House : [enters Cuddy's office]  I need a favor.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : I'm not in a giving mood.

  Dr. Gregory House : It'll help us both. I need a shot of morphine in my spine.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : If your leg hurts, take your Vicodin.

  Dr. Gregory House : It's not enough. Get a syringe.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Morphine is extreme. Even for you.

  Dr. Gregory House : Yeah. Read that on the insert.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Get one of your lackeys to do it.

  Dr. Gregory House : I don't want them knowing.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : That you're on the road to becoming a junkie?

  Dr. Gregory House : That I'm in this much pain. I don't want them questioning my judgment. I can't ask Wilson because he figures it's all in my head.

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : Well, I agree with him. I'm going home.

  [starts to leave her office] 

  Dr. Gregory House : [begins lowering his trousers]  Well, what about this?

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [looking mildly shocked]  What are you doing?

  Dr. Gregory House : [reveals the severe scarring and muscle damage on his thigh]  Is this in my head?

  [his voice breaks in despair] 

  Dr. Gregory House : Because I could swear I remember a thigh muscle being here!

  Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [as her expression changes from shock to sympathy]  I'll get a syringe.

• Martin Robinson : [Upon finding out that his teenage daughter is physiologically a male]  This is obviously a joke. This... is impossible.

  Dr. Gregory House : No. A joke would be me calling you a homo.

• Alexandria 'Alex' Robinson : I was passed out, but I wasn't. I... I knew what was going on, but I couldn't move or talk.

  Dr. Gregory House : Yeah, sounds like a medical thing. It's called cataplexy. Cat fight and cataplexy on the catwalk. Cool.

• Dr. Lisa Cuddy : [while handing a folder of House's latest patient to him]  Teenage supermodel. Presented with double vision, sudden aggressive behavior, cataplexy...

  Dr. Gregory House : [yanks the folder out of her hands]  You had me at "teenage supermodel."

• Dr. James Wilson : Heard you killed your supermodel.

  Dr. Gregory House : Only for a minute.

• Dr. Gregory House : [about Alex]  She's got post traumatic stress disorder.

  Dr. Robert Chase : We got models fighting in Iraq now?

• Dr. Gregory House : [to patient with psychosomatic ailment]  Gotta go. People dying. The whole "circle of life" thing.

• Dr. Allison Cameron : [to House]  Since when do you voluntarily go and see patients?

  Dr. Gregory House : [points toward the room]  Have you seen her?

  Dr. Allison Cameron : She's fifteen.

  Dr. Gregory House : [while he and Cameron start walking]  Yeah, but there is something about her. Something in her eyes. A kind of maturity.

  Dr. Allison Cameron : Yeah, yeah. She's an old soul. This is creepy, even for you.

  Dr. Gregory House : She's a fashion model on the cover of magazines. They hold her up as the sexual ideal, but the law says we can't touch her for three more years. How hypocritical is that?

  Dr. Allison Cameron : Did the history reveal anything, oh, I don't know, medically relevant?

  Dr. Gregory House : History, right. I knew I was forgetting something. You should do one of those while you're running the labs and the tox screen.

  [hands her a small packet of charts] 

• Dr. Allison Cameron : [during a team meeting in room to discuss the patient]  Labs show valium and heroin in her urine.

  Dr. Robert Chase : A supermodel on smack. Shocker.

  [gets up] 

  Dr. Gregory House : [looks away]  Oh, Alex. I expected so much more from you. Heroin chic is so five years ago.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : Okay. Let's start crossing out withdrawal symptoms.

  Dr. Allison Cameron : A positive test means she tried it once. Doesn't mean she's an addict. She's only 15.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : There's no age limit on addiction.

  Dr. Gregory House : He's right.

  [dramatically swallows some Vicodin pills] 

  Dr. Robert Chase : She's never menstruated. Sounds like a symptom of drug addiction to me.

  Dr. Allison Cameron : Or bulimia or her age. Some girls don't start 'til their mid to late teens.

  Dr. Gregory House : Evidence to the contrary: The rounded hips. The perfectly sculpted, bountiful breasts...

  Dr. Robert Chase : Implants. I've seen some of her photos. They've grown dramatically since last summer.

  Dr. Gregory House : Symptomatic of turning 14. Two clinic hours says that those love apples are handcrafted by God.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : [looks incredulous, walks over to House]  Whoa! I thought that you didn't believe in God.

  Dr. Gregory House : I do now.

  Dr. Robert Chase : You're on.

  [comes over to House and the two of them bump fists] 

  Dr. Allison Cameron : [looks disgusted]  Could we talk about her health instead of her breasts?

  Dr. Gregory House : It could be relevant. Come on, Cameron. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Many women develop breasts...

  [House slips due to pain and catches himself on a table, disrupting the table's contents while the team looks on. He regains his composure; looks back to team] 

  Dr. Gregory House : No, I'm fine.

  Dr. Allison Cameron : Even if she is an addict, a lot of her symptoms - the cataplexy, the violence - they could be neurological. We chalk this up to drugs, we could be releasing her with Juvenile M.S. or Parkinson's or...

  Dr. Gregory House : [interrupts]  So detox her.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : Fine. We'll set her up on a program that'll wean her onto the methadone.

  Dr. Gregory House : And in four weeks, we'll know you're right. Or, we'll know that Cameron's right and the pretty girl will do Milan next fall in a wheelchair. Put her in a coma, pump her full of naltrexone. Cut the four weeks in one night.

  [House exits; Cameron and Chase look to Foreman] 

• Martin Robinson : [after Alex goes into cardiac arrest during her detox]  You son of a bitch. You killed her.

  Dr. Gregory House : She's not dead.

  Martin Robinson : She had a heart attack!

  Dr. Eric Foreman : She's stable now. The anesthesia...

  Martin Robinson : Get her out of that coma.

  Dr. Gregory House : Don't think so.

  [starts to walk away] 

  Martin Robinson : Stop this. All right. I... I don't consent anymore. I want to do the slow detox.

  Dr. Gregory House : [stops walking and looks at Martin]  Did you ever get a paper cut? A really nasty one, between the fingers? Well, multiply that by about a billion and you just barely approach the kind of suffering she'll experience if we wake her up now. We're committed to this. She's out till morning. Go get a book.

• Dr. Eric Foreman : [to House]  Why would your mind go to abuse so fast?

  Dr. Gregory House : I had a funny uncle.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : You were abused?

  Dr. Gregory House : What? No. Why would your mind go to that so fast? I just had a funny uncle. Great stories. Always filthy.

• Dr. Allison Cameron : [after Alex's dad admits to having sex with her]  We have to call child protective services.

  Dr. Gregory House : Doctor-patient confidentiality.

  Dr. Allison Cameron : Doesn't apply in abuse cases. You know that. We're mandated to report sexual abuse.

  Dr. Gregory House : Is it okay if I save her life first or do you want to make sure Daddy doesn't get visitation rights to the grave site?

• Dr. Allison Cameron : [to House]  If you're too distracted to deal with this because your leg hurts, then...

  Dr. Gregory House : Yeah, I'm distracted! I'm all hung up on this 15-year-old patient who's cataplectic, can't remember what she had for lunch and is rapidly losing control of her body. And I want her father here in case they've got any more secrets that I need to know about. Now, if you're not too distracted, go take out a piece of her brain and stick it under a microscope.

• Alexandria 'Alex' Robinson : No, you're wrong. I'm a girl.

  [stands up and pulls off her gown] 

  Alexandria 'Alex' Robinson : Look at me! How could you say I'm not a girl? See? They're all looking at me. I'm beautiful!

  Dr. Gregory House : Anger. It's just the cancer talking. Put your clothes back on. I'm going to cut your balls off. Then you'll be fine.

• Dr. Allison Cameron : So we're just gonna leave a child molester in the same room as his victim?

  Dr. Gregory House : It's got windows!

• Martin, Alex's father : [after House accuses Alex's dad of having sex with her]  I should take your head off.

  Dr. Gregory House : [checks Martin's glands]  Your glands are fine. So now you're my patient. You've got doctor-patient confidentiality. No worries. So what did you do to her?

  Martin, Alex's father : How could you possibly think?

  Dr. Gregory House : Hard to imagine anyone not wanting to nail her.

  Martin, Alex's father : You son of a...

  Dr. Gregory House : It's a compliment. The heart shaped ass, those perfect perky all natural breasts...

  Martin, Alex's father : That is my daughter you're talking about.

  Dr. Gregory House : No, that's your daughter you were talking about.

  [opens up his magazine] 

  Dr. Gregory House : "She just instinctively knows how to walk. Designers just love that heart shaped ass, those perfect perky-"

  Martin, Alex's father : I'm her manager. I have to promote her.

  Dr. Gregory House : Oh, that makes sense. So you compartmentalize. When you're dealing with the press, you're her manager. When you're helping with homework, you're her dad. When you're making sweet, sweet love, you're her manager.