Growing Pains (TV Series)

Weekend Fantasy (1985)

Derek McGrath: Encyclopedia Salesman

Quotes 

• Ben Seaver : Look, mister - - if you think that machine gun is gonna scare us into buying a set of your lousy encyclopedias, you're mistaken.

  Encyclopedia Salesman : [in a tone of huffy arrogance]  Actually, this is a *SUB*-machine gun. Which is something you would already know - - IF you had bought a set of my encyclopedias! Can anyone tell me what BRAND of gun this is...? No? THOMPSON. This is a THOMPSON submachine gun. You would have known THAT, also... IF your stingy parents has gotten you a set of my encyclopedias! I tried SO HARD to tell them about how important knowledge is to youngsters. But did they listen? Noooo... they couldn't be bothered! They were too busy - - LAUGHing at me! The whole world... LAUGHS at me.

  Ben Seaver : Why don't you take a job as a comedian?

  Mike Seaver : [protestingly at Ben, lest he offend the gunman]  BEN...!