- Rose Nylund: The president's married to Nancy Davis now.
- Sophia: From "All About Eve"?
- Rose Nylund: That was Bette Davis.
- Sophia: The one who beat her children with wire hangers?
- Rose Nylund: That was Joan Crawford.
- Sophia: The fat cop from "Highway Patrol"?
- Rose Nylund: That was Broderick Crawford.
- Sophia: The president was married to Broderick Crawford?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: I read somewhere that in America, you always felt that you were among friends.
- Mario: That was just a story.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: I think it's a true story.
- Rose Nylund, Blanche Devereaux, Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Surprise!
- Sophia: [coming in] Louder next time, my heart's still beating!
- Rose Nylund: We thought you were Mario.
- Sophia: You'll have to yell louder than that to kill him.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [talking to Mario on a movie theatre] You know, a lot of people come to America to start a new life. You're looking at one. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Came to America, started a new career, married a Kennedy. Right now, he's tearing off a man's arm and hitting him with it.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [reading Mario's essay] In America, you always felt that you were among friends.
- Rose Nylund: What kind of movie is this?
- Man in Theatre: Rip his throat out!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: It's a musical, Rose.
- Blanche Devereaux: [watching the movie] I want to get a better look at this guy.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: He's in a loin cloth, covered in oil, what more is there to see?
- Blanche Devereaux: I don't know but I'm going to move down to the front row and find out.
- Mario: Why do I have to learn Algebra?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Because I had to learn how to teach it.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [watching the movie] WHOA! Sorry Mario. I never realized that ripping a man's nose off his face would leave a hole that big.
- Rose Nylund: Mario, can I fix you a snack?
- Mario: Sure, I'm starved.
- Rose Nylund: How about a herring salad sandwich on raisin bread?
- Mario: Oh wow, I'm gonna miss my bus!
- Rose Nylund: Well you've got plenty of time, it's only
- [looks at her bare wrist]
- Rose Nylund: See you later.