- Mary Ann Summers: Mister Howell, I don't even think she saw me.
- Thurston Howell III: Well of course not, she has something in her eye - a man.
- Erika Tiffany Smith: I thought all professors wear glasses.
- Professor Roy Hinkley: Oh not at all, my eyes are ametropic and completely refractable.
- Erika Tiffany Smith: From here they look blue.
- Professor Roy Hinkley: [after being introduced] Mrs Tiffany-Smith, you don't know what a pleasure this is.
- Erika Tiffany Smith: I certainly intend to find out.
- Jonas 'The Skipper' Grumby: I've got a problem. I've got a real problem. You're a girl, right?
- Ginger Grant: Well, if you're not sure about that, you have got a problem.
- Gilligan: I can't believe it - you're for real!
- Erika Tiffany Smith: Thank you, darling!
- [Touches Gilligan's nose]
- Erika Tiffany Smith: I can see that you're for real, too.
- [Alluding to plastic surgery, for which Gabor was famous]
- Ginger Grant: Professor, when you were a teen, didn't you ever go to a drive-in movie?
- Professor Roy Hinkley: [Failing to grasp the implication of teenage sex] Once, but the curvature of the screen and the fidelity of the sound made it impossible to enjoy the movie!