- Maxwell Smart: The old Maxwell-Smart silhouette on the window shade trick. That's the second time KAOS has fallen for it this month.
- Sid Krimm: [Max has just killed three KAOs men with a single shot] Max! How did you get 'em all three?
- Sid Krimm, Maxwell Smart: [Max holds up a gun with three barrels and one trigger] The old three way gun trick!
- Sid Krimm: It's ok, Max, the cops are here.
- Maxwell Smart: You got a lot to learn about the secret agent business, Sid. Thats the oldest trick in the world.
- Sid Krimm: Oh, the old KAOS killers dressed up like cops in order to fool Control agents and old army buddy trick.
- Maxwell Smart: Yeah, yeah, something like that.
- Maxwell Smart: My father, my father never got me anything. The only thing he hever got me was a pair of long pants so I could go to work.
- Maxwell Smart: The old gun in the maestro's baton trick.
- [rolls eyes]
- Maxwell Smart: that's the second time I fell for that this month.
- Maxwell Smart: [Max and Sid are both chained to a wall] All right now, Sid, here's my plan.
- Sid Krimm: Stop with your crazy plans. Can't you see I'm trying to faint?
- Maxwell Smart: All right, I'll do it myself.
- [lets go of false hands tied to chains]
- Sid Krimm: Oh, the old false hands in the chain trick.
- Sid Krimm: [Max grabs his belt-buckle and slides out a hacksaw] Oh, the old hacksaw in the belt-buckle trick.
- Maxwell Smart: [Max rolls his eyes] Will you shut up?
- Maxwell Smart: You know Sid, in a way it's kind of a shame.
- Sid Krimm: What are you talking about?
- Maxwell Smart: If he had only used his baton for goodness instead of evil.
- [Sid rolls his eyes]
- TV Viewer: [Max and Sid burst into apartment where couple is watching TV:] I'm telling ya Mae, we gotta get out of this neighbourhood.