Get Smart (TV Series)

The Greatest Spy on Earth (1966)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maxwell Smart : Listen, 99. In case I don't get out of this alive and you do...

  # 99 : [upset]  Max, you will get out of this alive!

  Maxwell Smart : Well just in case I don't, 99, I'd like you to do me a favor. I don't want a big funeral. I... I'd just like a few of my close friends to get together and... try to bring me back to life.

• Carlson : We've developed this special equipment. Inside this camera is a hidden tape recorder. And this tape recorder actually conceals a hidden camera!

  Maxwell Smart : May I ask you a question, Professor Carlson?

  Carlson : Certainly.

  Maxwell Smart : Eh, why hide a tape recorder in a camera and a camera in a tape recorder? Why not just take pictures with the camera and record with the recorder?

  Carlson : Because my mind doesn't work that way, that's why.

• Chief : [on phone]  Now, you're just going to have to go in there and face those viscious, hungry, man-eating lions. But Max...

  Maxwell Smart : [on other line]  Yes Chief?

  Chief : Don't take any unnecessary risks.

• Maxwell Smart : Missed me by that much... twice!

• Maxwell Smart : [the Chief is disguised as a circus clown]  Chief! So this is what you do at night!

• Agent 99 : Max, that knife missed you by inches.

  Maxwell Smart : You think it's some kind of a warning?

• # 99 : Poor 51, what a way to go. With a knife in his back in a ridiculous gorilla suit.

  Maxwell Smart : Well, that's showbusiness.

• # 99 : Max, look.

  [gasps] 

  # 99 : He's been shot in the back at close range.

  Maxwell Smart : Hm. Committed suicide.

  # 99 : That's impossible Max.

  Maxwell Smart : Hm. You're right, there's no gun.

• # 99 : Ehm, do you happen to know anything about diamonds, Hondo?

  Hondo : Hondo can crush diamonds with teeth.

  Maxwell Smart : What kind of a trick is that?

  Hondo : Expensive.

• Maxwell Smart : All right, Hondo. I'm used to dealing with big ugly apes with you...

  [Max punches Hondo three times in the stomach, gives a karate chop to the right shoulder and slugs him across the face. Hondo doesn't budge] 

  Maxwell Smart : [Max puts his arm around Hondo]  Eh... listen Hondo, I eh, I hope I wasn't out of line with that crack about the ape...