Get Smart (TV Series)

The Girls from KAOS (1967)

Tisha Sterling: Miss U.S.A.

Photos 

Quotes 

• Miss U.S.A. : Mr. Smart, I'm in terrible danger, aren't I?

  Maxwell Smart : Yes Tisha, but don't you worry about it, you're in good hands. You'll be protected 24 hours around the clock by a Control agent who is highly intelligent, extremely perceptive and absolutely fearless.

  Miss U.S.A. : Oh.

  Maxwell Smart : What's the matter?

  Miss U.S.A. : Well I was hoping it would be you.

• Maxwell Smart : Tisha, there's an organization of shrewd determined men who've been trying to get control of this country for a number of years. Perhaps you've heard of them?

  Miss U.S.A. : Oh, you mean the Republicans?

  Chief : No. We mean KAOS.

  Miss U.S.A. : KAOS?

  Maxwell Smart : Yes. a monstrous organization of evil, dedicated to the destruction of the free world and the systematic subjugation of every man, woman and child on this planet.

  Miss U.S.A. : Oh, my daddy wouldn't work for them, he hates to see children subjugated.

• Chief : Miss USA, it's obvious you're in great danger. I must recommend that you withdraw from the contest.

  Miss U.S.A. : Withdraw from the contest? Well I can't I simply can't!

  Chief : But your life may be at stake.

  Miss U.S.A. : It doesn't matter. I love this contest and all that it stands for: beauty, cooperation, friendliness and ten thousand dollars in prize money.

• Miss U.S.A. : Golly, gee! That wasn't very nice, was it?

  Maxwell Smart : No it wasn't. But I must say that you've handled yourself very well, Tisha. In the midst of all this violence and horror and deceit.

  Miss U.S.A. : Well, after all it is my third beauty contest.

• Miss U.S.A. : They're after me! They tried to kidnap me! Don't let them get me. Please, you must help me.

  Maxwell Smart : There there, now. You're perfectly safe here. Now, why don't you just sit back here and relax and tell me who you are?

  Miss U.S.A. : I... I'm Miss United States.

  Maxwell Smart : [with a confused expression]  Miss "United States"? That's an odd name for a girl.

  Miss U.S.A. : Well, it's just my title. My real name is Tisha. I came to town for the beauty contest.

• Chief : Uh, Miss Heinschmidt, do you think you could identify the men who tried to kidnap you last night?

  Miss U.S.A. : I'm afraid not. It was dark. I couldn't see.

  Maxwell Smart : Well, I can confirm that, Chief. Last night was a very dark night!

• Chief : [addressing Tisha]  Miss Heinschmidt...

  Miss U.S.A. : [interrupting]  Would you call me "Miss USA"? It sounds so much nicer than "Miss Heinschmidt".

• Miss U.S.A. : Gosh, Mr. Smart, you're too nice to be a secret agent.

  Maxwell Smart : Well, there are good secret agents and there are bad secret agents.

  Miss U.S.A. : There are? Well, what's the difference?

  Maxwell Smart : Well, the good secret agents are on our side. The bad secret agents are on their side.

• Maxwell Smart : I must say that you've handled yourself very well, Tisha, in the midst of all this violence and horror and deceit.

  Miss U.S.A. : Well, after all, this is my third beauty contest.

• Maxwell Smart : [Miss U.S.A., wearing only Max's pajama top, lets Max into his apartment]  Tisha, what are you wearing?

  Miss U.S.A. : I took the liberty of borrowing a pair of your pajamas. I hope you don't mind.

  Maxwell Smart : No, that's all right.

  Miss U.S.A. : My, you are a neat man, Mr. Smart.

  Maxwell Smart : Why thank you Tisha.

  Miss U.S.A. : Shirts in one drawer and socks in another drawer; classified information in another drawer. I couldn't get the top drawer open though.

  Maxwell Smart : I always keep that drawer locked.

  Miss U.S.A. : Why? What's in it?

  Maxwell Smart : [Eying Tisha's legs]  Pajama bottoms.