- 99: [Max has booked a trip to the Caribbean on a banana boat] A banana boat, is that safe?
- Maxwell Smart: Well, this boat has an excellent safety record, 99. In 40 years it's only had one mishap. That's when it collided with a freighter carrying cornflakes.
- 99: But that's terrible!
- Maxwell Smart: Not really, fortunately a sugar boat came along.
- Maxwell Smart: I don't understand it, Chief, I thought that joining the naval reserve was part of our cover as spies, I never dreamed that they'd call us up for active duty.
- Chief: Well that's because they don't know we're spies. Control is such a super secret organization that even the army and navy don't know we excist.
- Maxwell Smart: Well I still don't think it's fair, I mean after all, they never draft the CIA.
- Chief: Well that's because the CIA isn't a secret organization. It's supposed to be, but it's not.
- Chief: José Vargas is going to be in Washington this week. He'll only be here two days and I wanted to be here to see him.
- Maxwell Smart: Well I hardly think that a Spanish flamenco dancer is more important than my honeymoon.
- Chief: Max, José Vargas is a member of the Spanish Secret Service.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh that José Vargas, well he's a member of the S.S.S.
- Chief: The S.S.S., S.S.S.
- Maxwell Smart: The S.S.S., S.S.S., S.S.S?
- Chief: The Spanish Secret Service Strategic Security Staff.
- Maxwell Smart: Of course. The Spanish Securita Saff, seeve, secret service, secret Spanish staff, the - he's one of those Spanish spies, Chief. The fellow with the little mustache and the big Chihuahua.
- Chief: No Max, the little Chihuahua. Big mustache.
- Maxwell Smart: His little Chihuahua has a big mustache?
- 99: Oh, Max, I'll miss you so much, I'll write to you every day.
- Maxwell Smart: I'll write to you twice a day, 99.
- 99: That'll be an awful lot of letters, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: Yes, well, we can save them and read them on our honeymoon. It will give us something to do.