- Maxwell Smart: I'm telling you, Chief, this was no ordinary kidnap attempt. I happen to have recognized one of those hoods as a KAOS man.
- Chief: What's the man's name?
- Maxwell Smart: I can't remember.
- Chief: What was the girl's name?
- Maxwell Smart: I didn't get it.
- Chief: What about the license number of the girl's car?
- Maxwell Smart: I didn't see it.
- Chief: How about the license of the other car?
- Maxwell Smart: I didn't notice.
- Chief: Max, what would you do if you were me and an agent gave you answers like 'I can't remember,' 'I didn't notice' and 'I didn't see it?'
- Maxwell Smart: I don't know.
- Maxwell Smart: Do you always carry two fur coats?
- Tracy Dunhill: 'Course. One's for wearing, the other's for dragging.
- Tracy Dunhill: Why don't you come to my party tonight?
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, well, that's very nice of you. I'd like to. What time?
- Tracy Dunhill: Any time. It's been going on for two months.
- # 99: Oh, Max, the lab men asked me to bring you this belt to wear to the party tonight.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, thank you, 99.
- # 99: It's the latest piece of special equipment. The buckle contains a minuscule tape recorder.
- Maxwell Smart: What?
- # 99: Minuscule. Diminutive. Microcosmic.
- Maxwell Smart: Heh. You certainly have a way with words, 99.
- [turns to the Chief for further explanation]
- Chief: Teensy weensy.
- Maxwell Smart: [Agent 44 is stationed in a sofa and a woman has just filled his glass] Who was that?
- Agent 13: [takes a sip of wine] Aah. Oh, that was agent 93. Since I had to keep surveillance at a party, the Chief was nice enough to let me take along a date.