Get Smart (TV Series)

I Shot 86 Today (1969)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Quotes 

• Agent 99 : Do you think that's our contact over there?

  Maxwell Smart : We'll know in a minute, 99, I'll give 'em the password.

  Maxwell Smart : [walks up to golfer]  Hi there!

  Fargo : Hello.

  Maxwell Smart : He's our man. I'm 86, she's 99.

  Fargo : Say, you two have some handicaps!

  Maxwell Smart : No, we're the Control agents that you asked to see. Aren't you Fred Fargo?

  Fargo : No, I'm Frank Fargo.

  Maxwell Smart : Frank Fargo? But we were supposed to meet Fred Fargo.

  Fargo : Fred Fargo is my sister in law Frieda's father. Furthermore, he flew to Frankfurt, Friday.

• Maxwell Smart : What are you doing?

  Dr. Simon : Exorcising. I've gotta keep in shape. You know what they say: a healthy body makes a healthy mind.

  Maxwell Smart : You must have some mind.

• Maxwell Smart : 99, how can you worry about a ring at a time like this? We've got less than two hours before that missile center is gonna blow up. And not only do we not know how it's going to be done, we don't even know who is gonna do it.

  Agent 99 : We know when.

  Maxwell Smart : Yes, well, knowing when isn't gonna tell us who or how. I'd gladly trade my when for a who and a how.

  Agent 99 : Why?

  Maxwell Smart : Eh... Why. Yeah, a good question, 99. Well, you see, if we know who, then we can watch how who did it, and then that will give us our who, our how, and our when.

  Agent 99 : That makes sense.

  Maxwell Smart : I know it, 99, that's what worries me.

• Maxwell Smart : Of course! The old mortar in the rocks in the 14th hole trick.

• Agent 99 : [during golf cart chase]  Faster, Max, faster!

  Maxwell Smart : I can't go any faster, 99, I got it up to 8 miles an hour now!