- Thornton Reed: [after Dagless goes mad trying to save Skipper and in a completely monotonous tone] Look out, he's got a stick
- Dean Learner: I haven't acted since, some would say I didn't act during, but er, er, those would be unkind people. I did my best.
- Todd Rivers: He couldn't actually interact with, you know, with another actor. I've never seen that before, and I've never seen that since. But I've just seen the tape, and it looks okay, though.
- Dr. Rick Dagless: What I couldn't work out was how he'd managed to make another man pregnant. I guess we'll never know. So, just to restate, that is something we'll never know, you're not going to find out later.
- Thornton Reed: Dag! Any thoughts?
- Dr. Rick Dagless: I... don't know anything about it. Besides, i think there are more important matters at present.
- Thornton Reed: Could you give me an example?
- Dr. Rick Dagless: Like hospital *bloody* hygiene, I went into the gents and there was a big pube stuck to the pipe so i had to use the one in 'E' wing.
- Dr Lucien Sanchez: [interrupting] It's true! I went there two month-back and there was a piece of shit stuck to the seat!
- Dr. Rick Dagless: Well someones gonna have to pick that pube off the pipe and it ain't gonna be me!
- Dr Liz Asher: [interrupting] Come on, surely we can talk about something more sanitary!
- Dr. Rick Dagless: [immediately interrupting] As if your fanny never graced a pan!
- Dr Lucien Sanchez: Whats crawled up your crack?
- Dr. Rick Dagless: She has! Shes *so* up herself!
- [Liz is immediately upset, make-up running down her face. Sanch interrupts...]
- Dr Lucien Sanchez: You shut your mouth, or so help me god i'll punch your lights out!
- [to Liz]
- Dr Lucien Sanchez: Dunno what the hell's gotten into him! Come on Liz, i'll help you apply some more make-up.