Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (TV Mini Series)

Skipper the Eyechild (2004)

Matthew Holness: Garth Marenghi, Dr. Rick Dagless M.D.

Quotes 

• Dr. Rick Dagless : What I couldn't work out was how he'd managed to make another man pregnant. I guess we'll never know. So, just to restate, that is something we'll never know, you're not going to find out later.

• Dr. Rick Dagless : Sanch - if you pass a postbox could you pop this in? It's my pools coupon.

• Thornton Reed : Dag! Any thoughts?

  Dr. Rick Dagless : I... don't know anything about it. Besides, i think there are more important matters at present.

  Thornton Reed : Could you give me an example?

  Dr. Rick Dagless : Like hospital *bloody* hygiene, I went into the gents and there was a big pube stuck to the pipe so i had to use the one in 'E' wing.

  Dr Lucien Sanchez : [interrupting]  It's true! I went there two month-back and there was a piece of shit stuck to the seat!

  Dr. Rick Dagless : Well someones gonna have to pick that pube off the pipe and it ain't gonna be me!

  Dr Liz Asher : [interrupting]  Come on, surely we can talk about something more sanitary!

  Dr. Rick Dagless : [immediately interrupting]  As if your fanny never graced a pan!

  Dr Lucien Sanchez : Whats crawled up your crack?

  Dr. Rick Dagless : She has! Shes *so* up herself!

  [Liz is immediately upset, make-up running down her face. Sanch interrupts...] 

  Dr Lucien Sanchez : You shut your mouth, or so help me god i'll punch your lights out!

  [to Liz] 

  Dr Lucien Sanchez : Dunno what the hell's gotten into him! Come on Liz, i'll help you apply some more make-up.