Futurama (TV Series)

War Is the H-Word (2000)

Katey Sagal: Turanga Leela, Lee Lemon

Quotes 

• Leela : You know, Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson.

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What did I call it, Kif?

  Kif Kroker : Ugh... sexlexia.

• Soldier : So, any of you fellas got a special lady back home?

  Fry : Well, I sorta have a thing for this girl I work with.

  Leela : [Exclaims]  Really?

  [Realises is posing as Private Lemon and lowers voice] 

  Leela : What type is she? You know, blonde or Chinese or Cyclops?

  Fry : Cyclops.

• [Leela has beaten up Zapp Brannigan] 

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : Oh god, I've never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman.

  Leela : Let's do it again sometime.

• Leela : [Trying to create a name for her self]  Lee... La... Man... Lee... Le... mon. Lee Lemon, Sir.

• Captain Zapp Brannigan : Lemon, you're a man's man. You're a man's man's man. More importantly, your hand, while firm and masculine, is soft as a velvet child. What lotion do you use?

  Leela : Pert and Popular, sir.

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : Roger that. Kif, get me ten cases of Pert and Popular.

  Kif Kroker : What shall I do with your Jergens, sir?

  Captain Zapp Brannigan : Squirt it on some homeless man with dry elbows.