- Lucy Liu-bot: You're cute!
- Fry: No, you are!
- Lucy Liu-bot: No, you!
- Fry: No, you!
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh dear, she's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot! Oh well, that's love for you, I guess.
- [Bender is angry at Fry for dating a robot]
- Bender: Stay away from our women! You've got metal fever, boy! Metal fever!
- Leela: Bender, this is Fry's decision. And he made it wrong, so it's time for us to interfere in his life.
- Leela: Hey, you know what might be a hoot?
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No! Why would I know that?
- Leela: Let's take the rest of the morning off and take Fry to do everything he ever wanted to do.
- Fry: [Alluringly] Everything?
- Leela: Except that.
- [at the edge of the universe, Fry sees alternative versions of himself and his friends on the other side]
- Fry: Far out! So there really is an infinite number of universes?
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No, just the two.
- Fry: Oh, well. I guess that's enough.
- Auctioneer: Are there no further bids for this exquisite galaxy? Sold! To the being of inconceivable horror!
- Being of Inconceivable Horror: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
- [pause]
- Being of Inconceivable Horror: Will a money order be OK?
- Auctioneer: Yes.
- Being of Inconceivable Horror: MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
- Lucy Liu robot: Oh, Fry, I love you more than the moon, the stars, the...
- [monotone]
- Lucy Liu robot: POETIC IMAGE #36 NOT FOUND.
- Lucy Liu: Fry, when you downloaded her without my permission, you stole my image, and in the end, that's all I really have. That and the largest gold nugget in the world, one mile in diameter.
- Fry: But I just downloaded her because I love you.
- Lucy Liu: If you love the real Lucy Liu, and not just what you've seen in movies, genre-straddling lawyer shows, and kiss-ass articles in People magazine, you'll blank out that robot.
- [George Michael's head has been kidnapped]
- George Michael's Head: Please pick me up before you go-go?
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, dear, I should have shown him "Electrogonorrhea: the noisy killer" instead.
- Dr. Zoidberg: [Fry wants to visit the edge of the universe] It's funny, you live in the universe, but you never get to do this things until someone comes to visit.
- Fry: How can you guys be so blasé? Here we are in the year three-hundred-or-so, yet you're just sitting around like it's the boring time I came from.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome, and boy bands roamed the earth?
- Fry: I just saw something incredibly cool! A big, floating ball that lit up with every color of the rainbow, plus some new ones that were so beautiful I fell to my knees and cried.
- Amy Wong: Was it out in front of Discount Shoe Outlet?
- Fry: Yeah.
- Amy Wong: They have a college kid wear that to attract customers.
- Fry: Well, I don't care if it was some dork in a costume. For one brief moment, I felt the heartbeat of creation, and it was one with my own.
- Amy Wong: Big deal.
- Bender: We all feel like that all the time. You don't hear us gassing on about it.
- Trek Fan #1: No way! Kirk could kick Picard's ass!
- Trek Fan #2: Yeah? At least Picard had the guts to admit he was bald!
- Trek Fan #1: What? You take that back!
- [the city is being attacked by Lucy Liu robots]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Now there's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes.
- Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
- Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!
- [wins again]
- Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in Hell!
- Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!
- [unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
- Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
- Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
- [pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler]
- Clyde Smith: No!
- [turns to a woman sitting next to him]
- Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!
- [the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]
- Clyde Smith: Aah!
- Bender: Eh, saw it coming.
- [Fry has purchased a robotic Lucy Liu]
- Fry: Did you hear that? She likes me.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well Duh, she's programmed to like you.
- Fry: But this is Lucy Liu, perhaps the only good actress of the 20th century. She's more then just a piece of software.
- Lucy Liu robot: Would you like to take a moment to register me?
- Fry: Hmm, not right now.
- Lucy Liu robot: [tussling Fry's hair] I'll remind you later, you hot stud you.
- Bender: What is the world coming to? That Fry is a sicko poivert, I tell ya! Dating a robot... it's an attrocimacy!
- Leela: But Fry is our friend, Bender.
- Bender: Ah, geez! Would you stifle there, meatbag?
- Leela: You stifle, Bender!
- Dr. Zoidberg: Hooray! Finally, you're standing up to him.
- [a "herd" of Lucy Liu robots are destroying New New York]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: That's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes!
- Lucy Liu: [at a theater showing one of the Charlie's Angel movies] Let's hide in here. It'll add to my box office gross.
- Nappster Salesman: Welcome to Nappster. Let's see what celebrities we've got in stock. May I interest you in Gwyneth Paltrow?
- Fry: No, I read in Newsweek that she drinks human blood.
- Nappster Salesman: Then, uh, how about Cleopatra, whose beauty destroyed mighty empires?
- Fry: I'd prefer someone from the era of shaved armpits. Do you have anything with more of a Lucy Liu feel to it?
- Nappster Salesman: Nah, nothing like that, though we do have Lucy Liu. Only woman ever to be named People magazine's Sexiest Woman of the Year twice, in 2003 and again in 2063.
- Fry: I'd like the 2003 model, please.
- Bender: Who's in charge of this dump?
- Nappster Owner: That'd be me. If you're an investor, you can dump your money in the hole there.
- Bender: Listen, you fat internet nerd!
- Nappster Owner: Listening.
- Bender: Your company promotes wrong love. If you don't shut down right now, the only thing wired about you will be your jaw!
- Nappster Owner: You can't shut us down. The internet is about the free exchange and sale of other people's ideas. We've done nothing wrong.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: On to the internet you go.
- Bender: And while you're there, pick me up a few credit card numbers.
- Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.
- Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!
- [wins again]
- Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in HELL!
- Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!
- [unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]
- Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!
- Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!
- [Pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler]
- Clyde Smith: No!
- [turns to a woman sitting next to him]
- Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!
- [the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]
- Clyde Smith: A-a-ah!
- Bender: Saw it coming.
- [Bender is angry at Fry for dating a robot]
- Bender: Stay away from our women. You've got metal fever, boy. Metal fever.
- [Fry has purchased a robotic Lucy Liu]
- Fry: Did you hear that? She likes me.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well Duh, she's programmed to like you.
- Fry: But this is Lucy Liu, perhaps the only good actress of the 20th century. She's more than just a piece of software.
- Lucy Liu robot: Would you like to take a moment to register me?
- Fry: Hmm, not right now.
- Lucy Liu robot: [tussling Fry's hair] I'll remind you later you hot stud you.