- Robot Guard #1: Be you robot or human?
- Leela: Robot, we be.
- Fry: Yep, just two robots out roboting it up.
- Robot Guard #2: Administer the test.
- Robot Guard #1: Which of the following would you prefer? A. a puppy; B. a flower from your sweetie; or C. a large, properly formatted data file? Choose!
- [Fry and Leela discuss in whispers]
- Fry: Is the puppy mechanical in any way?
- Robot Guard #1: No. It is the bad kind of puppy.
- Leela: Then we'll go with that data file.
- Robot Guard #1: Correct.
- Robot Guard #2: The flower would have also been acceptable.
- Robot Guard #1: You may pass.
- Robot Playing Human in Movie: I will eat and digest you all with my system of mighty organs!
- Bender: I like it here. I have wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
- Robot Cop in Movie: Incredible. The human was impervious to our most powerful magnetic field, yet he was destroyed by a harmless pointed stick.
- Blue Elder: Elders, execute function-control-shift-kill.
- Robot Mayor: Today we have a special guest, whose irrational hatred of humans makes me look like a human sympathizer.
- Bender: You humans are afraid of a little robot competition. You would never let a robot on the field.
- Fry: What are you talking about? I see plenty of robots out there.
- Bender: Yeah, doing crap work. Robots are only working as bat boys, ball polishers and sprinkler systems. But how many robot managers are there?
- Fry: Eleven?
- Bender: Zero!
- [Throws a bottle on the ground; a robot cleans it up]
- Bender: And look who's cleaning up the crap! A human child? I wish!
- Bender: The fact is, humans are completely harmless.
- Blue Elder: We're well aware of that.
- Bender: You are?
- Blue Elder: Of course. But they're useful to us as a scapegoat to distract the public from their real problem.
- Green Elder: Like our crippling lug nut shortage.
- Orange Elder: And a corrupt government of incompetent Robot Elders.
- Yellow Elder: Duh, that's for sure.
- Blue Elder: Quiet, Jimmy.
- Bender: Well, I'm glad we got all that out in the open. We'll just let ourselves out.
- Leela: We'd be killed instantly if we set foot on the surface, so we need to look and act like robots.
- Fry: [robotic voice] I am fully operational.
- Leela: We need to move like robots, talk like robots, and if necessary, solve complex differential equations like robots.
- Fry: I can sort of dance like a robot.
- [does the robot]
- Leela: Fry, first of all, this is serious. And second of all...
- [does the robot better]
- Dr. Zoidberg: I'll have some squid log.
- Hot Dog Vendor: Sorry, we don't serve that.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Fine, then I'll have one of your young on a roll.
- Hot Dog Vendor: We don't serve rolls.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Fine, just give me something crawling with parasites.
- [Cut to Zoidberg and the others eating hot dogs]
- Fry: At least hot dogs haven't changed.
- Rusty: [in movie] Say, Wendy, your chassis is a little scuffed. Mind if I polish it for you?
- Fry: Stop! One more step and I'll breathe fire on you!
- Leela: He'll do it! He's crazy.
- Orange Elder: Can humans really do that, or did we just made that up?
- Blue Elder: I think it was from that movie.
- Green Elder: Was that the original or the remake?
- Blue Elder: I'm not sure... Hey, they're getting away!
- Robot Mayor: That's the 146 thousandth unsuccessful human hunt in a row. But I have a good feeling about tomorrow.
- Bender: Oh, sure. Let the robot do all the work.
- Leela: Bender, this is the first actual work you have been asked to do.
- Bender: Well, I can't do it. It so happens tomorrow is a robot holiday.
- Fry: Really? Which one?
- Bender: Only Robanukah, the two holiest weeks in the robot calendar.
- Leela: Last week it was Robamadan, and the week before that, Robanzaa.
- Fry: Man, that one was a blast.
- Bender: I was not just a blast. It was a celebration of the accomplishments of my past prototypes, which just happened to take the form of a drinking contest.
- Leela: Wait a minute. We know they hate humans, but how do they feel about humanoid aliens?
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: They're not fans.