- Philip J. Fry: [to Bender, watching surveillance tape] Wait, there on the screen! It's that guy you are!
- Turanga Leela: [Picks up L-shaped piece of metal] This is a normal L-unit. Without it, space travel is but the fevered dream of a madman.
- Philip J. Fry: Yep.
- Bender: Of course.
- Amy Wong: Doy!
- Hermes Conrad: It's an important unit.
- Turanga Leela: And this, my friends, is the L-unit just removed from the ship.
- [Unveils a straightened piece of metal; all gasp]
- Philip J. Fry: That doesn't look like an L at all. Unless you count lower-case.
- Bender: You know we don't!
- [Slaps Fry]
- Turanga Leela: Whoever did this was strong. This is 340 pounds of Tonka tough steel.
- Bender: [Picks up L-unit] Hmmm, it should look like this...
- [Bends into L shape]
- Bender: ... but instead it looks like this.
- [Straightens it out again]
- Philip J. Fry: Who would do such a thing?
- Bender: Who *could* do such a thing? And by that I mean this.
- [Bends L-unit back and forth]
- Dr. Zoidberg: Well, gang, it looks like we have another mystery on our hands.
- Philip J. Fry: Professor, I've never seen you so cheerful. What the hell's wrong with you?
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Hmm, I'm not quite sure. Perhaps seeing things from a new perspective has reminded me of life's beauty. Or perhaps my new posture is causing blood to pool in the back of my brain, resulting in a slight delirium. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose.
- Philip J. Fry: I wish. It's a nickel.
- Turanga Leela: My God! Even the professor is bent!
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Thank you for your sympathy, talking square of linoleum.
- Anglelyne: Bender! You tricked me!
- Bender: That's right baby, I ain't your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him.
- Anglelyne: Well maybe I love you so much that I love you no matter who you're pretending to be.
- Bender: Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that!
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [about his much younger girlfriend] Some people think I'm robbing the cradle, but I say she's robbing the grave.
- Joey Mousepad: Yo, get an eyeload of that filthy scab with the beard waving his filthy scab money. It's an insult to you, boss.
- Donbot: Yeah. That cash oughta be slushing my fund and kicking my back.
- Clamps: I'm greasing up my hoozits!
- Donbot: Whoa, whoa, Clamps. Not yet. Let's just keep an eye on him and see if he does it a couple more times.
- Joey Mousepad: He's flashing his cash loaf again.
- Donbot: How many times is that? Two or three?
- Clamps: Three.
- Donbot: All right, that's the necessary number of times. That scab's gonna have a little on-the-job accident.
- Joey Mousepad: With all due respect, Donbot, I don't think we should rely on an accident to happen. Let's kill him ourselves.
- Turanga Leela: Guidance system?
- Bender: Online.
- Turanga Leela: Automatic pilot?
- Automatic Pilot: Present.
- Turanga Leela: Dark matter indicator?
- Philip J. Fry: Making a noise.
- Turanga Leela: All systems operational. Let's rock.
- Bender: Okay, I've constructed an elaborate lie: I'll call Anglelyne while pretending to be Flexo, arrange a date, show up disguised as him, and catch her two-timing me with myself.
- Philip J. Fry: That's thinkin' like a man.