Futurama (TV Series)

A Head in the Polls (1999)

John DiMaggio: Bender, Jack Johnson, John Jackson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bender : Game's over, losers! I have all the money. Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves.

• Bender : Ahhh, what an awful dream. Ones and zeroes everywhere... and I thought I saw a two.

  Fry : It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two.

• Fry : This is crazy, Bender. How are you going to live without a body?

  Bender : Pfft! Bodies are for hookers and fat people! All I need is a wad of cash with a head wrapped around it.

  Fry : At least now you can pay your loan shark.

  Bender : Yeah, right! What's he gonna do, break my legs?

• Bender : Gimme my body back, ya two-bit thief!

  Richard Nixon's Head : Now look here, you drugged out communist! I paid for this body and I'd no sooner return it than I would my little cocker spaniel dog, Checkers.

  Checkers' Head : Arf!

  Richard Nixon's Head : Shut up, dammit!

• Bender : [while scaling a hotel to get to Nixon's room, Bender looks into a hotel room]  Get a room!

  Man : [Off-screen]  We're in a room!

  Bender : Well, then lose some weight!

• Fry : You look different. Did you get a haircut?

  Bender : No! I sold my body.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Sold your body? Oh, Bender, I've been down that road. I know it's glamorous and the parties are great, but you'll end up spending every dollar you make on jewelry and skintight pants.

• Fry : If I were registered to vote, I'd send these clowns a message by staying home on election day and dressing up like a clown.

  Turanga Leela : You're not registered?

  Fry : Nope. Not vaccinated, either. Besides, it's not like one vote ever made a difference.

  Turanga Leela : That's not true. The first robot president won by exactly one vote.

  Bender : Ah, yes. John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters by pledging not to go on a killing spree.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.

• Scoop Chang : Scoop Chang, Beijing Bugle. Sir, the Constitution clearly states that nobody can be elected president more than twice.

  Richard Nixon's Head : That's right, no *body*.

  [Reveals that he has on Bender's body] 

  Richard Nixon's Head : But as you can plainly see, I've got a shiny new body.

  [Starts dancing] 

  Turanga Leela : Bender, he has your body!

  Bender : That dirty, double-crossing bastard! How dare he run off with Richard Nixon?

• Fry : What party do you belong to, Bender?

  Bender : I'm not allowed to vote.

  Fry : 'Cause you're a robot?

  Bender : No, convicted felon.

• [Fry and Leela are watching a debate. The candidates are clones, they use the same tone of voice and body movements for each other's short speech] 

  Jack Johnson : It's time for someone who has the courage to stand up and say,

  [slams his fist on the podium] 

  Jack Johnson : I'm against those things that everybody hates!

  John Jackson : Now, I respect my opponent. I think he's a good man. But quite frankly...

  [slams his fist on the podium] 

  John Jackson : I agree with everything he just said.

• Turanga Leela : There's a political debate on. Change the channel.

  Bender : That's what Fry said when we turned on the debate.

• Bender : It's hopeless. We might as well turn in my head for the five cent deposit.

  Fry : No way! I'm not letting my best friend get recycled! Not for five cents, not for five hundred cents! Leela, I've got a plan!

  Leela : I've got a better plan.

• George Washington's Head : So telleth me, Bender. What hath happened to your body?

  Bender : I hocked it.

  George Washington's Head : Hocked it? Why wouldst thou do that?

  Bender : Same reason you hocked your teeth.

  George Washington's Head : Ah, booze money.