Full House (TV Series)

Our Very First Night (1987)

Bob Saget: Danny Tanner

Quotes 

• Danny Tanner : Well, well, well, well, well, well, well.

  Jesse Cochran : What, what, what, what, what, what, what?

  Danny Tanner : Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame!

  Jesse Cochran : I feel like I'm being chewed out in the Grand Canyon.

• Danny Tanner : [after he catches everybody partying]  Attention, Solid Gold farm team.

  [He looks at D.J] 

  Danny Tanner : It is 12:23 and your hair is purple.

  [He walks over to take Stephanie off the speaker] 

  Danny Tanner : Get down and I don't mean get funky.

  [He then walks over and casually puts his hands around Jesse and Joey] 

  Danny Tanner : Boys, boys, walk with me, talk with me.

  [yells] 

  Danny Tanner : How could you possibly let this happen?

  Joey Gladstone : [Puts a hand up to stop him]  Hold it. On behalf of Joey, I'd like to say that Joey is innocent.

  [Exhales] 

  Joey Gladstone : My name's Joey Gladstone and I'm a congaholic.

  D.J. Tanner : Well, look at the time. It's time to go to bed. Come on, Steph. Good night, everybody!

  [They both start for upstairs, but Danny stops them] 

  Danny Tanner : Girls, get back over here! You're just in about as much trouble as they are!

  D.J. Tanner : Dad, I know we're supposed to...

  Jesse Cochran : [Puts a hand up to stop D.J]  D.J, hang on a second. This was all my fault. I invited the band over. I woke the girls up. I ordered pizza. I was throwing a party, so I needed a couple chicks.

  Joey Gladstone : [Michelle cries upstairs]  Uh-oh, Baby alert,

  [makes siren noise] 

  Joey Gladstone : baby alert.

  Danny Tanner : [They all start up the stairs]  You girls get right in bed! You guys follow me and if that baby's hair is purple!

• Danny Tanner : Gentlemen, Tarzen, who was raised in the jungle by apes, went to bed in better shape than that baby.

• Danny Tanner : [all three guys are trying to leave]  Three adults cannot go out at the same time. One adult can go out, two adults can go out, one, two, or three girls can leave with one to three adults.

• Danny Tanner : [goes into the girls' bedroom and turns the light on]  Girls, are you awake?

  D.J. Tanner : [yawning exaggeratedly]  We're up.

  Stephanie Tanner : [squinting hard]  Is it morning?

  Danny Tanner : D.J., Stephanie, please come over here, right now.

  [they join Danny at their table] 

  Danny Tanner : Girls, we have a little problem with uncle Jesse.

  D.J. Tanner : Oh, no, we didn't have any problem with uncle Jesse.

  Danny Tanner : I'm sorry, he was just SO irresponsible.

  [notices bowls with empty ice cream and chocolate milk cartons under their table and takes them out] 

  Danny Tanner : What's this? Uh-oh. Empty bowls and empty cartons. Ah, I see what happened. Uncle Jesse forced ice cream sundaes and chocolate milk down your throats and then he hid the evidence under your table. Ah, the sick fiend. He probably ignored you when you told him no sweets after bedtime, huh?

  D.J. Tanner : [looking guilty]  Probably.

  Danny Tanner : No probably about it. Because, otherwise, you'd be lying

  [turns to Stephanie] 

  Danny Tanner : and you better than THAT, don't you?

  Stephanie Tanner : [looking guilty]  Probably.

  Danny Tanner : Well, that does it. I guess asking uncle Jesse to move in here was just a big mistake and, in fact, this may be a matter for the police.

  [the girls both look at each other fearfully] 

  Danny Tanner : Now, sweet dreams, my perfect little angels.

  D.J. Tanner , Stephanie Tanner : Dad!

  Stephanie Tanner : We were bad.

  D.J. Tanner : We did everything, we even ordered the pizza. We should go apologize to Uncle Jesse.

  Danny Tanner : You're right. You go, first.

• Danny Tanner : [gives Michelle a teething ring]  She loves it.

  [the ring pops in the air and Joey catches it] 

  Joey Gladstone : Is this like catching the bouquet? Am I going to be the next one to have a baby?

• Danny Tanner : [trying to sing Michelle to sleep]  Lullaby, and goodnight, and some other words I don't know...

  Joey Gladstone : Conga!

  [they start humming a conga tune and dance out of the room] 

  Jesse Cochran : [to Joey's imaginary brother]  This way, Leon.

• Danny Tanner : [to D.J. and Stephanie after they apologize to Jesse]  Now, girls, either you go to bed for real or I'm taking everything out of your room and turning it into a 24-hour mini-mart.

• Danny Tanner : [to Jesse]  I guess I should be grateful the house is still standing. I must have been crazy to think that you could take care of my daughters. You really let me down.

  Jesse Cochran : [notices Danny leaving the room]  Wait a minute! Where are you going?

  Danny Tanner : [sarcastic]  Well, I figure I'd call up the Beastie Boys and see if they can take the girls to the park, tomorrow!