Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Stoned Guy (1995)

Jon Lovitz: Steve

Photos 

Quotes 

• Steve : Well, smack my ass and call me Judy!

• Steve : Tartlets?... Tartlets?... Tartlets?... the word has lost all meaning.

• Rachel : Excuse me? Can I help you with anything?

  Steve : You know, I don't know what I'm looking for.

  [Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it] 

  Steve : Ah, cool! Taco shells! You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope

  Monica : [She takes away the taco shells]  You know that? You don't want to spoil your appetite.

  Steve : Hey! Sugar-O's!

  [He grabs the cereal box] 

  Monica : You know, if you just wait another six and a half minutes.

  Steve : Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!

  Monica : [She reaches for the box]  No, we don't.

  Steve : Oh, OK.

  [he drops the box on the floor] 

  Steve : Oh, sorry.

  [When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet] 

  Monica : Why don't you just have a seat here?

  [he sits at the table, then tries to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots him] 

  Monica : Okay. Give me the Gummi-bears.

  Steve : No.

  Monica : Give them to me.

  Steve : Alright, we'll share.

  Monica : No, give me the...

  Steve : Well then you can't have any.

  [she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table] 

  Steve : Man overboard! I think he's drowning.

  [he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl] 

  Steve : Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O. Save yourself!